Proofread my Critical Analyis essay
posted by Crystal on .
My critical Analysis essay is over the poem "Phenomenal Woman," by Maya Angelou. Before you begin reading it I've typed directions. When you finish it could you please give me a letter grade. I'm a 10th grader. Thanks so much have a blessed Thanksgiving.
I: Intro: the topic by telling us the subject matter of the piece. Next, make your thesis statement.(add theme.) (Position you are taking and what elements you're looking at.)
II: Short summary of the piece
III:-V Explanation of the poetic elements you are looking at. (about three paragraphs)
VI: The conclusion. How does this all tie into the theme?
My Critical Analysis of "Phenemonal Woman," by Maya Angelou
In "Phenomenal Woman," by Maya Angelou the subject is referring to all women to be self-confident about themselves, no matter what others say, or think. The theme that Angelou portrays is it's better to be yourself, than trying to act like a different person. In this poem Maya Angelou uses three poetic devices which are imagery, repetition, and metaphor.
In this poem the narrator is Maya Angelou, whom is talking about herself. She explains that she may not be a model, and she may not be perfect, but accepts and loves who she is. In the third stanza of the poem she explains that husbands in women's lives love them because there's something about their wives that they can't find in anyone else. In the fourth stanza she's telling us that we don't need to be obnoxious, or loud to get attention, to get noticed she wants us to carry ourselves with passion and dignity. To be a phenomenal woman, you must act like one, which is what Maya Angelou is trying to make us understand.
One of the main poetic elements in this poem is imagery. In lines 7-9 she expresses imagery, by stating, "the span of my hips, the stride of my step, the curl of my lips." This type of imagery is visual because Angelou is trying to make the readers imagine a woman who is proud of the way God created her, and showing how she can hold her head up high. The second example of imaery she uses is in line 39-42 where she states "it's in the arch of my back, the sun of my smile, the ride of my breasts, the grace of my style." This type of imagery is visual because Maya Angelou is trying to make us imagine a woman full of confidence, with nobody stopping her. The last example of imagery is in lines 54-55 which she states, "it's in the click of my heels, the bend of my hair." It's in the click of my heels is audio imagery because it means that she's proud of who she is.
The second important poetic device in this poem is repetition because she repeats the phrase, "I'm a woman, Phenomenally, Phenomenal woman, that's me," many times. By using this poetic device Angelou emphasizes to her audience the importance of her thinking she is a phenomenal woman. Also, with her use of repetition it helps stress the poem, and it makes it seem more familiar, and lyrical.
The third poetic device Angelou uses is metaphor. The example of metaphor inlines 19-22 where she states, "then they swarm around me a hive of honey bees I say it's in the fire fo my eyes." She means that where she walks men always follow her to see how unique she is. This metaphor flows with the poem, and shows how others see her, and act around her.
Angelou expresses the theme connecting imagery, repetition, and metaphor in a way that makes everything fit together. The woman in the poem doesn't care what others think, and because of that she shows self-confidence. The poem comes to an end as the woman believes that we understand her. Now that I've read this inspirational poem I can hold my head up high and say those exact words, "Cause I'm a woman, Phenomenally, Phenomenal woman, that's me."
THANKS! DONT' FORGOT TO GIVE ME A LETTER GRADE I'M A TENTH GRADER.
can someone check my essay please???? :))
I'm checking it, and I'll get back to you in about 30-45 minutes.
... comma after Angelou
... use the word "speaker" instead of "subject"
... use "advising" instead of "referring to"
... insert "that" after "is
... rephrase to get rid of all instances of "you" or any of its forms -- throughout the paper
... colon after "devices"
delete "which are"
... rephrase that entire first sentence; cut out repetitive wording; learn the difference between "who" and "whom"
... get rid of commas that aren't needed
... rephrase to get rid of all instances of "I" or "we" or their related words -- throughout the paper, except maybe in the conclusion
... fix the run-on after "noticed"
... rephrase that last clause to get rid of wordiness and repetitive ideas -- or simply delete it.
... watch spelling
... get rid of unnecessary commas
... get rid of "she uses" just before your reference to "lines 39-42
... change "which" to "where" after "lines 54-55"
... rephrase that whole last sentence to make it smoother; it's very awkward as written
... use commas when needed
... delete "with" and "it" in the last sentence
... you need to explain exactly what you mean by "stress" and "more familiar" and "lyrical." You've made these statements and seem to assume the reader will understand what you mean. Assume nothing! Explain ... with details.
Check through the other paragraphs for any errors such as what I've noted above. Here are some links that may help you:
Read in here about how to quote lines of poetry:
(Broken Link Removed)
Currently, I would give your paper about a 68 or 70 -- for these reasons:
... quoting poetry incorrectly
... lack of explanation of "stress" and "more familiar" and "lyrical"
PS -- Also in paragraph 1, you need to delete "about themselves" -- that's redundant -- "self-confident" includes that thought.
So, despite all the errors what would you grade me.
68 - 70
(high D or low C)
Do you see the three reasons I gave you above?
If you want your paper re-read after you make corrections, please feel free to do so.
Just make sure you use Post a New Question.
What factors might contribute to the inclusion of proof surrogates in news stories? What about stereotypes?
a i liked it and it helped me alot for my litreture essay! thanks!
Yeah it was good