Posted by y912f on Friday, October 23, 2009 at 5:51pm.
ok..so my essay is completed except for the conclusion. it says i need to have a 'clincher' in the last sentence...i'm not sure how to do that. ms.sue told me to wait until i get to the conclusion to worry about that. i have to do it now..please tell me how to do the conclusion.
Since I was a little kid my family has been visiting Asheville, North Carolina, every year for a vacation. I still remember the first time I went there; I was astounded as I entered into the green world of breathtaking beauty, peace, and tranquility. The memory of me standing in the middle of the spectacular meadow surrounded by gigantic trees towering to the sky is still vivid. It was my first time ever visiting such a place. I had never seen so much nature and greenery in any place I had ever been to before. However, the scenery is not the only thing that I love about Asheville.
Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors.
My favorite place to go to as soon as I got to Asheville was the river. I would take my shoes off and place my feet inside the cool water of the river. Just the sound of the river’s gentle and even flow was enough to sooth me. My feet felt numb because of the chilly water of the stream, but the warm sun that came through the trees was enough to leave me feeling cozy. Sitting on the bank, my worries were washed away with the river moving downstream.
Near the river, a variety of picnic stops make it difficult to decide, but it all depends on whether one wants to avoid the crowd or find some privacy. My preference is to sit in such a place where there is nothing but nature all around. There is one spot that has a picnic table, and from there you can hear the river behind you. Even while eating, the noise of the soft river flow, easing all your troubles is truly calming.
Near the end of the day, right before heading home, we take a stop at our favorite ice-cream parlor. Just outside the park, surrounded by many other stores, is a wonderful ice-cream parlor, with home-made ice-cream. When entering the place, you are struck by the sweetness of the different ice-creams in the air. Strawberry cheese-cake is one of my all time favorites, so that is what I order. The taste of the strawberry goodness mixed with the giant waffle cone I order feels like heaven to my taste buds. The “taste of Asheville” remains with me even after I get home.
Conclusion—restates thesis and ends with a clincher Paragraph 5 (conclusion)
The first sentence of the last paragraph restates the thesis
The LAST SENTENCE is a broad, general conclusion for the entire essay. This is your “LAST CHANCE” to leave your reader with something. END WITH A CLINCHER.
thank you guys
Grammar and Composition - y912f, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 6:53pm
can someone pleeasee help me with this
Grammar and Composition - Ms. Sue, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:10pm
Bobpursley advised you to get rid of personal pronouns. I see you've chosen to ignore his suggestions.
Grammar and Composition - y912f, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:14pm
but i already got the paragraphs checked from him
i just need to write the conclusion now.
Grammar and Composition - Writeacher, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:36pm
You're not paying attention:
" ... get rid of personal pronouns."
Grammar and Composition - y912f, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 8:33pm
will some one just help me with the conclusion pleease
i will change the rest later. i only need to turn in a rough draft.
Grammar and Composition - y912f, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 8:36pm
Grammar and Composition - Ms. Sue, Friday, October 23, 2009 at 8:54pm
Why should we wrack our brains to help you with a conclusion, when you haven't followed our previous advice to get rid of personal pronouns?
You have 21 personal pronouns in this essay. Obviously, you're going to write this essay the way you want, regardless of our advice.
Until you show us you've learned from our suggestions and have incorporated them in your essay, there's no point in us wasting any more of our time.
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