Why is it that in families where sexual abuse occurs, are some children abused, while others are spared?

My experience as a teacher is that this may not be a universal truth. Be that as it may, I have never met anyone who could explain sexual deviance, at least to me.

It could be that the children are not equally attractive to the abuser nor equally vulnerable.

I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.

The occurrence of sexual abuse within families can be a complex and disturbing issue, with several factors influencing why some children may be abused while others are spared. It is important to tread this topic with sensitivity, acknowledging the potential trauma involved for those affected. While I cannot provide personal experiences or specific psychological analysis, I can explain some factors that researchers and experts have identified that may contribute to these varying experiences in families where sexual abuse occurs.

1. Opportunity and access: In some cases, certain children may be more accessible or present in situations where abusers have the opportunity to act. Factors such as age, gender, physical proximity, or shared living arrangements might play a role. It is essential to remember that abusers often manipulate circumstances to their advantage, and no child is responsible for being targeted.

2. Power dynamics and vulnerability: Abusers typically exploit power imbalances and vulnerability. Some children may be perceived as more vulnerable due to age, physical or mental health conditions, shyness, or a history of victimization. These factors can make them more susceptible to being targeted by an abuser, who exploits their vulnerability for their own gratification.

3. Relationship dynamics: The dynamics between the abuser and the child, as well as the relationships within the family, can also contribute to the selection of victims. Abusers may have preferences, such as specific genders, personalities, or characteristics, which could influence their choice. Additionally, family dynamics, parental involvement or absence, and related interpersonal factors may impact the selection of victims.

4. Protective factors: While it is distressing to consider why some children are not abused, the presence of certain protective factors can reduce the likelihood. These factors could include a strong support system, positive role models, open communication within the family, healthy boundaries, and educational programs that empower children to recognize and report abuse.

It is crucial to acknowledge that sexual abuse is unjustifiable, illegal, and deeply harmful. The responsibility for abuse always lies with the abuser, and no child should ever be blamed for their victimization. If you or anyone you know is a survivor of sexual abuse, it is important to seek professional help from therapists, counselors, or helplines specializing in this area.