this is really good as my opinion.
Can we balance economic growth and environmental conservation? The question sounds so simple, yet, it is a complicated and an important issue (COMMA) which is being discussed today. Most recently, the rise of the developing countries such as China is incredibly fast with the development of the industrial factories as well as increasing number of exports. As their wealth enhances progressively ("WEALTH PROGRESSES"?), the more they build and push on with their work. This (REFERENT? WHAT IS IT REFERRING TO?) is considered necessary (COMMA) as it not only gives people an opportunity to be employed, but it also strengthens the nation’s economic status. However, the consequences of this non-stop development are always inevitable. Whether or not it is big or small, these efforts to raise the nations’ finance is somehow linked to environmental damage such as pollution, destruction of land and endangering wildlife. It is not possible however, to stop developing just for the sake of environmental protection. It is difficult for us ("THEM"?) to balance the economic growth and environmental conservation; nevertheless, neither one cannot ("CAN"?) be relinquished.
There is no doubt that most countries would want them (DELETE "THEM") to be more economically strong and environmentally friendly. Developing countries are the usual cases (DELETE "THE USUAL CASES") where these issues are dominant. In order for a country to merge into the wealthy and powerful nation(S), it requires ("NEEDS"?) to meet a high expectancy of financial standing as well as global leadership. China (COMMA) for example, has been the most successful developing country since 2007 till today (DELETE "TILL TODAY"). With average economic growth rate of 11% from 2007 to 2008, its development was 3 times the average of the worlds ("OF OTHER DEVELOPING COUNTRIES"). With its overflowing numbers of factories, it earned itself a new nickname, ‘The world’s biggest factory’. (DOUBLE QUOTE MARKS) Despite the fact that these industrial units are prospering the nation’s economy, (DELETE "THE NATION'S ECONOMY") its impact on the environment is quite severe. According to the WHO (FIRST TIME YOU USE AND ACRONYM, DEFINE IT.) and the World Bank, about 750,000 people die every year because of the polluted air and drinking water, and about 320 million people only have access to unsafe water. Moreover, China became the world’s no.1 SO2 (Sulfur Dioxide) (GOOD!) and ODS (Ozone-depleting substance), and no.2 CO2 (Carbon Dioxide) emitting country in just a few years. People (COMMA) who live nearby ("NEAR") these factories (COMMA) held numerous demonstrations under dangerous circumstances claimed that they would rather die protesting than dying ("DIE") from cancer because of the pollution. It cannot be said that either one is right or the other is wrong. Yes, these factories brought environmental destruction, but we cannot forget the fact that it gave (", BUT IT ALSO GAVE") people work and strengthened the nation’s fiscal state.
Another recent example is the Amazon crisis of Bagua province in Peru. The Amazon holds about one fifth of the world’s flora and fauna and it is often called as ‘the Earth’s Lung’. (DOUBLE QUOTES AGAIN) Regarding this priceless nature, Peru gave the United States an authority to develop Amazon in any way during the US–Peru FTA on December 14th, 2007 and they are expected to develop about 72% of what is there. (SPLIT INTO TWO SENTENCES AND DEFINE "THEY") Whilst ("WHILE"?) the Government’s intention was to stimulate the economy as well as giving people an opportunity to work, the natives who live in Amazon wasn’t ("WEREN'T") too bright on ("HAPPY ABOUT"?) this decision. Since then, the natives raised their voices and often protested against the government in order to receive life security (AWKWARD PHRASE. REVISE) and to preserve the environment. Cases in China and Peru are just another example ("OTHER EXAMPLES") of what is happening today. By looking at these issues around the globe, this (REFERENT?) is not to be dealt easily but to come up with the solution that can achieve both economical success as well as environment conservation. (SENTENCE AWKWARD. REVISE) The question is; how are we going to do this?
The first solution ("STEP" THE MEETINGS ARE NOT A SOLUTION.) is to have frequent meetings between countries such as G-8 Summit or even G-20 Summit like several weeks ago. These gatherings enable nations worldwide to share and express their opinion(S), in addition to coming up with ("POSSIBLE"?) solution(S) for this global economic-environmental issue. A good example of the upcoming solution is the ‘Green New Deal’ (DOUBLE QUOTES) plan as well as ‘Sustainable Development’ policy. The Green New Deal plan outlines series of proposals regarding climate change, financial crisis and peak oil ("PRODUCTION"?). The Sustainable Development policy is somewhat different, but in close margin. (UNCLEAR PHRASE.) This policy deals with effective use of natural resources (COMMA) so we can all have access to it (REFERENT?) while preserving the environment. These solutions are highly successful when applied as it ("THEY"?) not only contribute to economic growth but also saving the (DELETE "THE") Mother Nature. To do so, countries working together ("NEED TO WORK TOGETHER") as a whole and acting fast ("ACT FAST") according to the plan proposed are the key (DELETE "PROPOSED ARE THE KEY") to solve this problem successfully.
In addition to this, we can work individually to help save the environment while the government struggles to come up with their own solution. When we develop certain items such as a fridge or a car, we can work on how to make these goods environmentally friendly while being economically successful. These new ideas will not only save the environment, but it will also be booming in the industry of (DELETE "IN THE INDUSTRY OF") exports. Furthermore, whilst ("WHILE"?) factories and development sites harm the environment in many ways, we as an individual (PLURAL) can work from the small things such as turning the tap off while brushing our teeth, turning off all unnecessary lights or using more public transport. These tiny efforts we put in can seem pointless, but as a penny saved is a penny gained, it can be a huge turnout when everyone commits. Whether it is working as an individual, or as a family, or as a social group, or as a government, as a country or as a human race, the solution can be made. (DELETE SOME "OR" WORDS, ONLY USING IT BEFORE THE LAST CATEGORY. AREN'T "GOVERNMENT" AND "COUNTRY" SYNONYMOUS?)
Anyone would agree that there is a complicated bond between the economic measure and the environmental preservation. To achieve them both, it is a hard work (COMMA) but neither one can be given up. The only way to work it out is to have responsibility in ourselves and put in as much as we can as an individual ("INDIVIDUALS" SINGULAR/PLURAL CONFLICT AGAIN), or as a group. Following the plan the nations come up with on top of working on eco-friendly items will also help to change the situation. Yes, there still is a long way to go, but it can be feasible. (I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.)
All caps is used for contrast. You seem to have problems with commas (See <http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/>.), unclear referents (You know what you are referring to, but it is often unclear to your reader.), and matching singular and plural. Your use of some words (e.g., "whilst") leads me to assume that you are not in the United States.
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
I hope my suggestions are helpful. Thanks for asking.
Yes please change the answer to the question its making me stop! i cant swallow it :( sorry but that's all i found ...