posted by Tom on .
I saw many animals such as koalas, a dingo, kiwis, cuscuses, kangaroos and emus in the zoo. I saw an emu stand in front of me. I saw a dingo stand by me. I saw kiwis gather around the fence. I saw a girl carry a koala. A mother koala is on a tree with her baby on her back. I wanted to take a picture of that girl.
(Is this passage correct? Check errors, please.)
It is OK, but do they really let people stand by dingos in a zoo? Kiwis would gather along a fence, not around it. The last sentence refers to a girl mentioned two sentences earlier, with a different thought in between. This is awkward style.
My experience with kiwis is that they are nocturnal and not likely to gather along a fence with humans on the other side, unless they did not know they were being watched.