Grade 12 English
posted by Mandy on .
Could you please review for me. Thank you
The past has a hold on me in many ways. Thinking back on my childhood, I have made numerous mistakes. Looking back at what I have done incorrectly, I could learn from those mistakes and make better choices. When I think about the past, I get distracted, which holds me back in achieving my goals. I should not stress out because I canâ€™t do anything to change what has happened. Just understanding what has happened in my life, I am able to learn from my experience and make new meanings. I have to remember that what ever was done in the past has no power over my future.
The past can be more uncertain than the future because holding onto your past could haunt your present life in ways you act and behave. Thoughts, fears, hurts, and bad memories can prevent you from being able to go forward in your life. Contemplating about the bad memories and experiences will only eat away at us. If we free ourselves from past experiences, we will have the potential to live our life. We canâ€™t change what happened in the past, we could just come to terms with it and understand how we have developed.
The potential future is more interesting because you never know what our future holds, but we know who holds our future. We can shape our destiny, even though we do not have much control over our future. Life is what we make of it. We must lift ourselves up and out of negativity and focus on using our energies to redirect our lives. I now know that we all have the power to shape a positive future for ourselves. We can create the future by our actions, choices, and decisions. The future is in our own hands.
This is very repetitive. You also need specific examples of how the past has taught you valuable lessons which you can apply in the future.
An example might be---
Did you say something ugly to your best friend and as a result loose that friendship? What did you learn; how can you apply that to the future.
Did you cheat on a test, get caught and ask a result fail the course? What did you learn that will apply to future temptations?
Hi, In what ways does the past have a hold on you?
This is the first paragraph.
In what ways can the past be more uncertain than the future?
Second paragraph answers the question
Which is more interesting, the past or the potential future? Why?
The third paragraph answers this question.
Is it still repetitive?
It will not be repetitive if you use specific examples of each of those to prove your points. What you have is repetitive because you said the same thing in each paragraph using different words in each sentence... Be specific.
Let me be "specific" and give you an example.
A very important things I learned as a child was honesty .
One day on a trip to the store with my grandma, I saw something ( I can't remember exactly what it was) but I decided I had to have it so I took it.
When we got home, I showed it to my grandmother. She marched me back to the store and stood there while I gave the object back to the store owner and apologized... there were other people there who watched the whole process. I was mortified! As a result, this is the one trait that was tops on the list when I raised MY children and I strongly suspect that they will have it tops on their list too.