Posted by Marco on Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 3:17pm.
I think I would try to reword this, it is very mechanical and awkward.
. Davis studies the effect images have in our life. First, he provides the history and evolution of varied communication methods; the influence each one had on the social landscape. Second, he explains the focus is on the creation of messages, hidden within the context of the images and its impact in defining social values. Third, the author declares the use of images as a tool to educe a reaction on different emotional levels. Fourth, Davis lays out the concept of the �new myths� (2), myths that imply that if you buy the message, the lifestyle can be vastly improved. Finally, the author concludes that the image culture is hurting by giving everything we visually need, only to �feel a sense of dissatisfaction, a void that the myths of the image culture are and the material goods they sell do little to fill� (2).
I think you can do better on that, otherwise, it is good.
Overall, it reads fine. There are some singular/plural and other grammar/usage issues that need correcting, though.
... Davis believes communication by images with its<~~to what does "its" refer? voluminous exposure and alluring advertisements,<~~delete comma has overpowered what can be considered traditional methods of communication, oral and written.
Davis studies the effect<~~only one effect? images have in our life<~~only one life for all of us? or do we lead individual lives?.
First, he provides the history and evolution of varied communication methods; the influence each one had on the social landscape. The semicolon is used incorrectly. What NEEDS to be used in that place?
...images as a tool... <~~??
Read all of it aloud to someone -- or better yet, have someone read it aloud to you. You'll find these things more easily yourself if you do that.
Thank bobpursley and writeteacher. Great feedback.
You're very welcome.
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