Homework Help: Literature

Posted by mysterychicken on Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:14pm.

-Write a short narrative about a conflict or confrontation that is funny, scary, sad, or just interesting to you. Your story can be true or fictional and it must be atleast 5 paragraphs long.

-This is what I have:

“MC, you can do this. It’s only a test; I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” My friend had told me that over and over again but I refused to believe it.
There were gray clouds outside, fluffy and dense, pouring wet sheets of rain onto the ground and splattering little drops on my window. All around me was a tense atmosphere, or so it seemed to me, and I had been lying around for the past few days in my room trying to avoid what had to be done.
It was just like any other Monday last week; I got home from school and met my mom in the kitchen. She told me there was going to be a test from the state for all kids of my age and I had to pass or I wouldn’t be able to go onto high school. It didn’t bother me then because I took tests like the CRCT every year but when I saw the study guide they gave, I freaked out. In there were things that I had never even learned and I only had a week to prepare!
“I can’t take this test. How do you expect me to learn all this stuff in less than a week?”
“If you put your mind to it and work hard you can achieve your goal.”
But now there was only one day left and I had spent 4 days hiding in my room right after school, thinking that if I did this I could skip the test.
“By doing this, you can’t avoid taking the test. You have no choice, you have to. If I were you, I would be studying right now. There’s still some time.” My friend shut the door of my room and left. I pondered for a while on what she said. What if I did have a chance?
Reluctantly, I got up and gathered the study guide, some papers, a pencil, and all the books I would need. I started around the afternoon and didn’t stop until dinner time. After eating, I came up straight away and in the morning my mom found me sleeping with my head in a book.
“MC, it’s time for the test. Get up and get ready.”
I looked around myself and found papers strewn over the floor and a pile of books that I had finished reading late into the morning. The thought came to me slowly but I realized that I had done it! I had studied and I had a chance to pass this test.
I got ready, grabbed my lucky pencil, and went to the test site.
An hour later, I was satisfied with my answers and turned in the assessment. I had reviewed everything that was in it last night and I was sure I passed. My mom came and met me and the teacher approached us. I held my breath, waiting to hear what she had to say.
“MC did a fantastic job! You should be very proud, she got a high grade.” Inside me, it felt like a hundred balloons had just popped in my stomach and the air suddenly seemed to be filled with streamers. I had done it! I had passed!
My parents rewarded me when I arrived home and my friend congratulated me. I told her I couldn’t have done it without her.

What corrections need to be made in this? Thanks

-MC

Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:15pm
It was just like any other Monday last week; I got home from school and met my mom in the kitchen. She told me there was going to be a test from the state for all kids of my age and I had to pass or I wouldn’t be able to go onto high school. It didn’t bother me then because I took tests like the CRCT every year but when I saw the study guide they gave, I freaked out. In there were things that I had never even learned and I only had a week to prepare!
“I can’t take this test. How do you expect me to learn all this stuff in less than a week?”
Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:16pm
“If you put your mind to it and work hard you can achieve your goal.”
But now there was only one day left and I had spent 4 days hiding in my room right after school, thinking that if I did this I could skip the test.
“By doing this, you can’t avoid taking the test. You have no choice, you have to. If I were you, I would be studying right now. There’s still some time.” My friend shut the door of my room and left. I pondered for a while on what she said. What if I did have a chance?
Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:16pm
Reluctantly, I got up and gathered the study guide, some papers, a pencil, and all the books I would need. I started around the afternoon and didn’t stop until dinner time. After eating, I came up straight away and in the morning my mom found me sleeping with my head in a book.
“MC, it’s time for the test. Get up and get ready.”
I looked around myself and found papers strewn over the floor and a pile of books that I had finished reading late into the morning. The thought came to me slowly but I realized that I had done it! I had studied and I had a chance to pass this test.
Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:17pm
I got ready, grabbed my lucky pencil, and went to the test site.
An hour later, I was satisfied with my answers and turned in the assessment. I had reviewed everything that was in it last night and I was sure I passed. My mom came and met me and the teacher approached us. I held my breath, waiting to hear what she had to say.
“MC did a fantastic job! You should be very proud, she got a high grade.” Inside me, it felt like a hundred balloons had just popped in my stomach and the air suddenly seemed to be filled with streamers. I had done it! I had passed!
My parents rewarded me when I arrived home and my friend congratulated me. I told her I couldn’t have done it without her.
Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:19pm
What corrections need to be made?

Thanks
-MC
Literature - Writeacher, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 1:53pm
In dialogue, you must start a new paragraph each time a different person speaks.

What does CRCT stand for?

This sentence is strange: " I started around the afternoon and didn’t stop until dinner time." What does "around the afternoon" mean? Do you mean 1 pm, 2 pm, 3 pm, or what?

Everything else looks good.
Literature - mysterychicken, Wednesday, September 2, 2009 at 2:06pm
In my word document, they are new paragraphs. I had to write it like that here because then it doesn't paste.
CRCT is the state test in GA and I'll change that sentence up. (:

Thanks
-MC
Literature - udontwannaknowme, Friday, October 2, 2009 at 1:51pm
hi im am upset because i got low grades on quizes so what can i do to help my grade get better please help

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