Homework Help Forum: English

Posted by S.K. on Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 1:25pm.

I need to write a biography in English with this contents: name: S. K. date of birth: 03.10.1988 , Chemnitz Germany place of living: Dresden, Mickten family: brother 24, Robjn education: did my high scool degree in 2007, Chemnitz marital status and children: unmerried, no childrens hobbies/interests: sports.. fitness club, jogging, meeting friends what makes me special? : just the way i am ... what is the most exciting thing you have ever done? : spend 6 months in Spain what are your fears? : death imagine you had one thousend euros, what would you do ?? i would like to buy a flight to South Amerika imagine you were an animal, what would you be and why? bird- to see the world from a different few tell me the person who influenced you the most? Pamella a friend of mine have you ever been to to another continent? yes,Afrika what do you desire for your feauture ? spend one year in South Amerika to improve my Spanish after that also study on an south amerikan univerity which book did you read last ? Thriller "das kind" what is you favorite movie ? "Into the wild” I started to write it: On October 03, 1988, S. K. was born in Chemnitz, Saxony, one of two children born to Tom and Margerit Kersten. She arrived in a hospital in Chemnitz, the light of life. Silvie grew up in Chemnitz, Germany. She has one older brother. His name is Robjn. She graduated from Melanchthon High Scool in 2007 with her school leaving examination degree. After obtaining her degree, Silvie Kersten went to Dresden to pursue a career in international business. She started a training to became a International business Assistent. I need help because I don’t speak English so good .. thx

• English - Writeacher, Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 7:55pm

  My suggestions are in bold (below). On October 03, 1988, S. K. was born in Chemnitz, Saxony, one of two children born to Tom and Margerit Kersten. She arrived in a hospital in Chemnitz, the light of life. Silvie grew up in Chemnitz, Germany. She has one older brother. His name is Robjn. 1. How can you combine these sentences so there isn't so much repetition? 2. What else happened during your childhood? On a different piece of paper, list a whole bunch of details from your childhood, and then choose several to include in this paragraph. She graduated from Melanchthon High Scool in 2007 with her school leaving examination degree. 1. The last part of that sentence doesn't make sense. Do you mean "She graduated from Melanchthon High School in 2007 with her general diploma"? Actually, that's repetitive, too, because having a diploma means you have graduated! So how can you rephrase that sentence? 2. What else happened during your high school years? Did you have special friends? Did you have a job? Did you do volunteer work? Did you play any sports or participate in any clubs? Lots of details are needed -- list and choose, as I said above for the first paragraph. After obtaining her degree, Silvie Kersten went to Dresden to pursue a career in international business. She started a training to became a International business Assistent. 1. The word "degree" should be "diploma." 2. No capital letters are needed on "International" and "Assistant" -- watch the spelling, too! 3. And again -- what else has happened during this time -- other activities, interests, friends, etc. Add to what you have started with. You should have three well developed paragraphs. Then repost.

  
  

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