I have this assignment that is due tonight and I need some help with it and these are the direction. The first stage of the journey begins in the Ordinary World. You anticipate the entire journey without knowing where it will take you. Draft the series of events and plot to the fullest extent you are able to imagine it. Each of the 12 stages of the journey must be used, along with a sense of each character given (hero, mentor, and enemy). There is no word count range for this assignment. The second stage of the journey might find you involved with allies, enemies, and other tests of your writing. Using the series of events, plot. Write a full first rough draft of your story. I wrote the story and here is my story: Touch
I never thought my life would end early. I have missed so much. They grew. Both are beautiful and graceful. Jenny was always strong, like her mother. And a protector. Just like her father. She stands today, still the unyielding foundation of her family and a wonderful wife and mother. Then there’s little Sammy. My little girl. She transformed tenfold from when she was four. God, she was only four. It has been seventeen years. I have missed so much.
I dream about returning to Earth often. The first time was about two months after I left. In my dream, I saw Jenny and we were in my daughter’s house. She stood in the kitchen, wearing her “New Kids on the Block” t-shirt, jeans, and her chestnut mane in a perfect ponytail. I donned my favorite blue sweater (which is somewhere in Goodwill now), my curly hair was back with a vengeance, my favorite crystals laced my neck, and my usual cigarette accompanied my left hand. She had grown much wiser in that short time, still only thirteen and striving to become an adult. Her chestnut hair shimmered and her eyes evoked life’s complicated quandaries as they always did. She had even grown a little taller in those two months, too.
“Nana, I miss you everyday. You have no idea.” Her voice shook and tears embraced her dark chocolate eyes. And my heart weakened, more useless than it was when I left this Earth. I ran to her, wanting to wrap my bony arms around her fragile, shaking frame. But I couldn’t grasp her. She wept uncontrollably when we both realized this devious fact. Full of shame, I shrunk away from my one darling, only to discover my other little darling before me. Sammy’s eyes widened and a radiant smile unraveled. She looked the same, her light brown hair
Shimmered like Jenny’s and her large hazel eyes gleamed her joy. She had on her favorite nightgown, the one with Strawberry Shortcake and friends. My heart regained its strength and a tear tumbled down my cheek. She ran to me.
“Nana! Nana! You’re alive!” I could not speak, but I could open my arms to her. But again, there was no touch.
“Nana! Please! Hold me!” Her fingers clawed for my blue sweater and I was unreachable.
“Oh, my pumpkin…” I could not find any more words and she began to cry. “What happened to you, Nana? Hold me, please!” Her plea deafened my ears. “I can’t, pumpkin. I can’t hold you.” I knew this would not end well and I took a deep breath.
“Sammy, I love you. I am always with you. You are my little pumpkin. Be good. Be good for your mother.”
“Nana, I can’t see you! Where are you?” Her screams pierced my chest with agony. She was gone. Thunder then awakened me, soaked and speechless. That was the first time.
Seventeen years later, they’re all grown up, and I am still dreaming. Sometimes I see my daughter, too. But each time, I cannot touch them. I often wonder if they dream this, too. And I wonder if they can hold me, but if they can, I never feel them. I never touch them.
So I go about my afterlife. And life in Heaven is what they say; the clouds are softer than I could have ever imagined my towels to be. I have my husband here with me, and even my sister. There is joy and peace. I am happy to no longer be suffering from the horrid illness that took me away, but I miss them. Like I said, I never thought my life would end early. I still had plans, and my daughter and her children were a large part of the life I left.
I sit on my cloud and look down. I resent the Earth because I am not there with them. My husband sits beside me and exhales loudly.
“Estelle, you’ll see them again one day.” I grew annoyed at his ignorance. Vinnie was always oblivious even when we were alive.
“I know that. I can already see them. I want to feel them, Vin.” He understands my feelings and my obsessive need to feel my grandchildren. He loves them too, but he never got to know them. He missed the days they were born, first days of school for Jenny, their first steps, and their first words. I have them. Those memories are sunshine and salvation when I feel like I am forever fixated in those hellish dreams. Especially since I dream them almost every night.
The night arrives quickly and violently. Thunder roars and I feel the vibrations as the rain evacuates my cloud. Something feels strange. I look to my left and to my right, and I feel someone is here with me.
“Vinnie?” I receive no reply. I then hear footsteps meditating a dull lull. “Vinnie? What the hell?” No one. No, there is someone. I feel it. In that moment, I turn around and nearly die all over again. It’s Sammy.
“Sammy? I’m dreaming again. I must be. Can you see me?”
“Hi, Nana.” She seems content. I grow weary remembering this routine and fear that the contentment will soon be erased when she tries to hold me.
“I’ve missed you, Nana. I can’t believe I’m finally here. I finally get to see you!” She walks toward me faster, and it breaks my tired heart that she doesn’t know I can’t touch her. As she walks towards me I see the unfamiliar garb she dawns, a slender white nightgown and slippers to match, her neck shimmers despite the dark rainy night, and I catch a glimpse of the diamond choker I had left just for her. Oh no…
“Sammy. No!” Still walking towards me, she nods as her lips quiver like the last leaf of a barren branch. “Yes, Nana. I’m here.” She wraps her arms around me and my poor heart explodes as I flood into tears. I can hear the rain, thunder, and our cries, see the luminous lightning nearly strike the cloud above us, taste the thickness of the wet air, and smell the rain’s scent. All this I have done before. But now, I can touch her.
Assignment: write a rough draft with 12 stages, with a sense of character in each.
I am not certain there are 12 stages. Character development needs to be worked on, it is not clear in any instance (except the speaker, who is an observer) what characters are being developed.
It is indeed a very rough draft.
Your sentences in subsequent drafts need to be fuller, richer. As of now, they are choppy, fragmented, and often not clear.