posted by John on .
We had a health checkup at school.
We had to go to hospital. My hearing was OK. My eyes had no problem. So I don't need to wear glasses. I grew 5 cm from last year! The only problem I had was that I have to go to the dentist's. I have two decayed teeth. I have to have a wisdom tooth pulled out.
From now on, I have to take care of my teeth. I will not forget to brush my teeth after eating.
(Would you like to check the passage? Thank you.)
It's pretty good ... nice work!
Here are three things, though:
1. Was the health check-up at school or at the hospital?
2. To correct fragment: My eyes were no problem, so I don't need to wear glasses.
3. You need the word "since" instead of "from" -- I grew 5 cm since last year!
Here are some additional points.
Who is the "We"? Without a referent, it is unclear. Might want to have it all in terms of "I" or specify the "we" group.
"We had to go to the hospital."