Posted by leslie on Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:07pm.
is this a good introduction. please let me know if ther is anything wrong with it.thank you.
Although Juliet’s suitors Paris and Romeo are very similar on the outside, their thoughts and feelings are very different. Throughout “Romeo and Juliet” they are often compared. Romeo and Paris have differences as well as similarities. The most important difference is the way and the reason of their love for Juliet. This essay will discuss both the similarities and differences of these young guys.
ELA HELP - Ms. Sue, Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:14pm
Since you chose not to be patient, I'll throw in my opinion -- which may not be the same as our experts in high school essays.
Your first sentence is good. The next two say nothing.
You should expand on your fourth sentence.
Your last sentence is unnecessary and juvenile. The readers should know from your introduction what your paper is about. You don't need to tell them.
Also -- using slang, like "guys" is not acceptable in a formal essay.
ELA HELP - leslie, Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:16pm
thanks this is enough. sorry anout not being patient. i was in a hurry.
ELA HELP - Writeacher, Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:24pm
Ms. Sue is absolutely right about the different sentences in what you posted.
The 2nd and 3rd sentences simply repeat the 1st sentence, but in different words. Dump them.
Expand on that 4th sentence, and dump the last sentence ... but also remember what you wrote in your thesis. From that thesis (which would be better placed at the END of the intro paragraph), I expect to find at least one section of your paper explaining how Paris and Romeo are similar on the outside, as well as the majority of your paper stating and explaining the major ways they are different in their thinking and their emotions.
ELA HELP - leslie, Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:33pm
thanks for all the help
ELA HELP - Ms. Sue, Monday, June 1, 2009 at 7:34pm
Answer This Question
More Related Questions
- ELA - is this a good introduction paragraph? "Although Juliet’s suitors Paris ...
- ELA - is this a good thesis statement Although Juliet’s suitors Paris and Romeo ...
- essay - i need someones opinion on my essay. here is my draft Throughout “Romeo ...
- ELA - i need to write an essay about the differences and similarities of Romeo ...
- Romeo and Juliet (English Literature) - 1. To what heavenly body does Romeo ...
- Romeo and Juliet - In Act IV, Scene 1 of Romeo and Juliet, Paris tells Friar ...
- What is a good quote for Romeo and Juliet? - What is a good quote for me to ...
- English - 8. What can readers infer from the following quote from Act V, Scene ...
- Romeo and Juliet - Read the following line from Romeo's monologue in Act II, ...
- 9th grade English - This is the 2nd body paragraph for my Romeo and Juliet essay...