posted by leslie on .
is this a good thesis statement
Although Juliet’s suitors Paris and Romeo are very similar on the outside, their thoughts and feelings are very different.
Thanks.here is the whole introduction. do you think is good? if not, wht do i need to work on.
Although Juliet’s suitors Paris and Romeo are very similar on the outside, their thoughts and feelings are very different. Throughout “Romeo and Juliet” they are often compared. Romeo and Paris have differences as well as similarities. The most important difference is the way and the reason of their love for Juliet. This essay will discuss both the similarities and differences of these young guys.
The third sentence is out of character with the rest of the paragraph, it really does not add much. I would delete it, and reword the next sentence.
In the last sentence "guys" seems to me a bit informal..almost slang.