Posted by John on Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 5:10pm.
His facial expression is disappointed, not his face.
Yes, that passage is ok... you can also say he is pulling his hair. If you are talking about the painting, then I would say that "upset" is an understatement.
4. I will explain each scene. Look at the pictures. In the first scene, the Little Mermaid became a woman. She looks beautiful. Now she is at a seashore. In the second scene, she met the Prince. The Prince was very good-looking. She looks happy. In the third scene, the Prince married another girl. She wept bitterly. In the last scene, the Little Mermaid died. She turned into a drop of water. She disappered at last.
A new paragraph indicates a change in ideas, places, persons or times.
4. I will explain each scene. Look at the pictures. In the first scene, the Little Mermaid became a woman. She looks beautiful. Now she is at a seashore.
In the second scene, she met the Prince. The Prince was very good-looking. She looks happy. (Is she still at the seashore? If you give the location for one scene, it would be helpful to give the location for the other scenes, especially if they are different.)
In the third scene, the Prince married another girl. She wept bitterly.
In the last scene, the Little Mermaid died. She turned into a drop of water. She disappered at last.
In the third paragraph, it would be clearer if you used "Little Mermaid" in the second sentence rather than the pronoun, "she." It would avoid any possible confusion whether "she" refers to "another girl" or the "Little Mermaid." (Typically the pronoun refers to the immediately preceding noun.)
In describing anything, you have a picture in your mind. In communicating the scene to others, you would want to make your description clear enough to generate something close to your image. If someone gave you the descriptions above, would you be able to have a relatively close image in your mind?
I realize that this was not the information you were seeking, but I hope it will help you become a better communicator. Thanks for asking.
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