Can you please proofread this for me. My teacher said that it was done correctly. Thank you.
Freedom, wealth, security, and beliefs all branch off from the main cause of war. The positive beliefs that have been expressed regarding war, tend to state that every individual is entitled to believing in what they want. Those beliefs that are held true then branch off to people believing that freedom is created during war. If war is the only way that an individual can achieve their freedom then it becomes accepted by society. War creates wealth which leads to happiness among individuals. That wealth is achieved by people being needed to help produce new security advancements that would help aid those during battle and encourage people to purchase them back home. War being fought creates happiness because of the different things that people benefit from. War the worlds solution to todays problems that continue to exist.
Yes, it looks good. Please note a corrections:
If war is the only way that individuals can achieve their freedom then it becomes accepted by society.
War the is the world's solution to today's problems that continue to exist.
Sure, I can help you with that. Here's the revised version of your text:
Freedom, wealth, security, and beliefs all stem from the main causes of war. Some people argue that war provides individuals with the opportunity to have their own beliefs and opinions. These beliefs then lead to the belief that freedom is attained through war. If war is seen as the only means for individuals to achieve freedom, it becomes accepted by society. Additionally, war can create wealth, which in turn brings happiness to individuals. This wealth is generated by the production of new security advancements that aid those involved in war and are also purchased by people back home. The benefits people derive from war contribute to their happiness. Some believe that war is the solution to the problems that persist in the world today.
Please note that proofreading usually involves checking for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. However, I made some changes to improve the clarity and coherence of your text as well. Remember to consult your teacher for their specific feedback on the content and structure of your writing.