Posted by Hugs n kisses on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 6:19pm.
This is a paragraph, not an essay, but that's OK if that's what your assignment is.
Delete extra commas, such as after "Lord Capulet" in the first sentence.
Make all the verb tenses the same -- all past or all present. Don't mix them up in your paragraph. ("had" in the first sentence; "becomes" in the second sentence; etc.)
Use a spell-checker.
Get rid of any redundancies (such as "But" and "despite" right next to each other -- choose one; delete the other).
Lord Capulet and Lady Capulet showed the same reactions to Paris's proposal to Juliet. Lord Capulet became overjoyed of the proposal because he believed Paris was the perfect man for his daughter. Lady Capulet also becomes delighted with the idea of Paris marrying Juliet because she thinks he's handsome and rich. The difference is Lord Capulet thinks Juliet is too young to wed, while Lady Capulet believes she's mature and old enough. Despite all the controversy between Lord and Lady Capulet's decision with their daughter Paris and Juliet don't get married after all.
*** Could you please grade this I'm in 9th grade and I fixed the corrections.
The last sentence needs reworking; the first part of it doesn't make sense. In addition, there needs to be a comma before Paris.
The first two verbs are in past tense, but all the rest are in present tense. How will you correct this?
Comma after "daughter" in the last sentence.
this is crap its not an essay!!!!!!
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