Posted by A.W. on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 9:47am.
I would reduce the words in parentheses to phrases instead of clauses, delete the semicolon before "to a rock," delete the extra spaces after each opening parenthesis, and make sure there's a space after each word, comma, closing parenthesis, and period.
The content reads fine. A science tutor will let you know if there are errors in the content of your paragraph.
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