Posted by Amy on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 12:04am.
I could not post the whole essay. Its only 3 paragraphs long if someone could please let me email it to them and proofread. thanks
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/proofing.htm
http://www.sheboyganfalls.k12.wi.us/staff/dehogue/FSSH/proof.htm
These should help.
IF THIS IS THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, YOU ARE LACKING A TOPIC SENTENCE OR INTRODUCTION. IT WOULD ALSO BE HELPFUL TO INDICATE BRIEFLY WHO BORK AND THE OTHER WRITER ARE. (CAPS ARE USED FOR CONTRAST ONLY.)
Both writers make valid points in their essays regarding moral decline. Robert H (PERIOD) Bork points out in his essay, Modern Liberalism and American Decline, (FOR ESSAY TITLES, USE QUOTES.) that the morals and values have decreased in America due to the increase or movement towards modern liberalism. Bork believes that (COMMA) during the last several decades, Americans have put more emphasis on wanting to be able to express themselves as individuals and to be able to make their own choices. With the increase of liberalism (COMMA) it seems people are placing less value on things such as respectability, moral obligations to others, observing rules and social conformities. Americans are doing what ever makes themselves happy, without regards to social values and morals. Bork notes in the essay (SINCE THE PARAGRAPH TOPIC IS THE ESSAY, YOU CAN ELIMINATE THE PREVIOUS PHRASE, "IN THE ESSAY" FOR CONCISENESS.) that although crime rates have stopped rising or even begun to decline, it is not due to the increase in morals and values of the new generation. The decrease seems to be due to better policing, higher incarceration rates and the decline of the number of young males (COMMA, "WHO" RATHER THAN "IN WHICH" SINCE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE, "MALES".) in which statistics show are almost entirely responsible for violent crime. Bork believes this is all about to change. A new generation of young males is about to emerge in which violent crime will also flourish, even worse than the last. (HERE "IN WHICH" IS OKAY, BECAUSE IT RELATES TO "GENERATION.")
Look for the same type of problems with your other paragraphs.
These sources might be helpful:
http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Punctuating_Titles_chart.pdf
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.
This helps so much, thanks!
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