Homework Help: Sociology 101. Can someone please proofread this

Posted by Amy on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 12:04am.

Both writers make valid points in their essays regarding moral decline. Robert H Bork points out in his essay, Modern Liberalism and American Decline, that the morals and values have decreased in America due to the increase or movement towards modern liberalism. Bork believes that during the last several decades, Americans have put more emphasis on wanting to be able to express themselves as individuals and to be able to make their own choices. With the increase of liberalism it seems people are placing less value on things such as respectability, moral obligations to others, observing rules and social conformities. Americans are doing what ever makes themselves happy, without regards to social values and morals. Bork notes in the essay that although crime rates have stopped rising or even begun to decline, it is not due to the increase in morals and values of the new generation. The decrease seems to be due to better policing, higher incarceration rates and the decline of the number of young males in which statistics show are almost entirely responsible for violent crime. Bork believes this is all about to change. A new generation of young males is about to emerge in which violent crime will also flourish, even worse than the last.
In the essay Our Changing Culture: Abandoning the Sixties, Kay S Hymowitz argues that there has been an increase in the moral and values of the American people. Hymowitz states that studies have proven there is a better moral attitude of the new generation and that it is steadily growing. The rate of kids committing crimes, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and having premarital sex is declining compared to past generations. More emphasis is being put on marriage, family, and hard work, even by the younger generations. Studies are showing that teens are more likely to state they are happy with their parents and believe you should wait to get married and have children. More people are taking the attitudes of old fashioned virtues such as caution, self-restraint, commitment and personal responsibility.
I personally feel America is in a moral decline. I agree more so with Robert Bork in that Americans care more about their personal liberties and doing what they want to do and are placing less emphasis on values and virtues. When I look at my community alone, I see more kids acting out, disobeying their parents and rules and going to juvenile detentions centers/jail. A lot of teens have no respect for themselves, their parents, or authority figures.

Sociology 101. Can someone please proofread this - Amy, Monday, February 16, 2009 at 12:05am
I could not post the whole essay. Its only 3 paragraphs long if someone could please let me email it to them and proofread. thanks
Sociology 101. Can someone please proofread this - Writeacher, Monday, February 16, 2009 at 7:57am
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/proofing.htm

http://www.sheboyganfalls.k12.wi.us/staff/dehogue/FSSH/proof.htm

These should help.
Sociology 101. Can someone please proofread this - PsyDAG, Monday, February 16, 2009 at 10:04am
IF THIS IS THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, YOU ARE LACKING A TOPIC SENTENCE OR INTRODUCTION. IT WOULD ALSO BE HELPFUL TO INDICATE BRIEFLY WHO BORK AND THE OTHER WRITER ARE. (CAPS ARE USED FOR CONTRAST ONLY.)

Both writers make valid points in their essays regarding moral decline. Robert H (PERIOD) Bork points out in his essay, Modern Liberalism and American Decline, (FOR ESSAY TITLES, USE QUOTES.) that the morals and values have decreased in America due to the increase or movement towards modern liberalism. Bork believes that (COMMA) during the last several decades, Americans have put more emphasis on wanting to be able to express themselves as individuals and to be able to make their own choices. With the increase of liberalism (COMMA) it seems people are placing less value on things such as respectability, moral obligations to others, observing rules and social conformities. Americans are doing what ever makes themselves happy, without regards to social values and morals. Bork notes in the essay (SINCE THE PARAGRAPH TOPIC IS THE ESSAY, YOU CAN ELIMINATE THE PREVIOUS PHRASE, "IN THE ESSAY" FOR CONCISENESS.) that although crime rates have stopped rising or even begun to decline, it is not due to the increase in morals and values of the new generation. The decrease seems to be due to better policing, higher incarceration rates and the decline of the number of young males (COMMA, "WHO" RATHER THAN "IN WHICH" SINCE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE, "MALES".) in which statistics show are almost entirely responsible for violent crime. Bork believes this is all about to change. A new generation of young males is about to emerge in which violent crime will also flourish, even worse than the last. (HERE "IN WHICH" IS OKAY, BECAUSE IT RELATES TO "GENERATION.")

Look for the same type of problems with your other paragraphs.

These sources might be helpful:

http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Punctuating_Titles_chart.pdf
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html

In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.
Sociology 101. Can someone please proofread this - Amy, Monday, February 16, 2009 at 8:48pm
This helps so much, thanks!

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