As a prewriting exercise for my evaluative essay, I have to open the story that i have chosen and write two quick paragraphs or a list about it. I have to put my opinion of the work first and then add specific reasons why i feel that way.

I'm writing on "Daugher of Invention" by Julia Alveraz. this is what i have:
I believe this story is a great example of how families struggle when they move to a totally new place. This story is a success because it truly brings out each characters feelings. "We were having trouble at school." The kids and the parents are having trouble fitting in with the society. The girl is so depressed that she is scared to read her speech in front of the teachers because she thinks the kids will make fun of her accent. "I still had a pronounced lilt to my accent, and I did not like to speak in public, subjecting myself to my classmates' ridicule.

please correct me if something is done wrong

This is only one paragraph. You also need to indicate who is speaking in the quoted parts.