Posted by Stella on Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 10:55am.
Even when his raven hair suddenly turned so white, and he had to greet me on his smelly, maroon sofa, I never thought I would have to<~~delete "have to" lose his awkward laugh,<~~delete comma or let Grandma receive the traditional curtseys alone on New Year's Day.
(Do you think this sentence is too long?) You could probably break it up at "let Grandma..." -- make a separate sentence there.
Noticing my white princess dress rustling as I walk<~~need paste tense here, to match the past tense main verb "quickened", I quickened my steps toward Grandpa.
(Is the verb 'walk' wrong in the sentence?)
There were hundreds of dragonflies spotting the clear March sky that almost shielded the sunlight. It was just that little portion of the sky above the house they chose to linger.
(Is the second sentence wrong? Teacher drew a line across it.)
My question about the second sentence -- what is "it"??
Sorry -- should be "past tense" (not "paste")!!!
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