posted by tracie on .
is this an acceptable thesis for a change over time essay?
- From 1300 CE to 1790 CE Europe developed to become the epitome of global maritime trading and exploration because of their new use of foreign technologies and first-time exercise of establishing trading posts along the coast; however, they did not change their motives to explore and trade which were for missionary campaigns, search for new cultivation lands and profit, and diplomatic representation.
This is far too long to be a thesis statement. Remember that a thesis statement is ONE sentence that states what you will prove by the end of your paper. It's not clear from this whether your emphasis will be on Europeans' "global maritime trading and exploration" or "their new use of foreign technologies..." or that "they did not change their motives ... "
Focus and rewrite -- then repost.