Could I get some revising hints on the following homework - writing an email to a client on my employer's behalf to set up a lunch meeting? Thank you.

Dear Ms. Talbot,

My name is Veronica Harrison, and I am employed at Castles Inc. by Mr. Luke Skywalker. As you know, our company has been working on the Five-Point Schedule you have requested.

Mr. Skywalker is anxious to share the company's ideas with you, and as such would like to meet with you. He suggests meeting you for lunch with our assistant manager, Rory Webster, at the King Charles Hotel, located on River Street. Would next Wednesday, the 31st, at 2:00 in the afternoon be a convenient time for you? Please also let me know if the location is acceptable to you.

I am looking forward to your reply.

Veronica Harrison
Castles Inc.

Most letters such as this would be from the person who wants the lunch date. In this case, Luke Skywalker should be sending this letter. As his assistant, you could write the letter and he would then sign it. Your initials would be at the bottom.

You could start:

I would like to share Castles Inc. ideas with you about the Five Point Schedule you requested. . . .

Isn't 2:00 a little late for a lunch appointment?

Thank you for the suggestion! Will do. Oh actually, 2pm is the time required in the text book. LOL!

Ms. Sue, could you review the review and let me know if there is need for any major improvement? thank you in advance! I really appreciate it. (as to the format, keep in mind this is supposed to be a company email, not a letter or memo.)

Dear Ms. Talbot,

As you know, Castles Inc. has been looking into building the Five-Point Schedule you have requested. We have arrived at some original ideas that I am sure will appeal to you.

I am anxious to share these thoughts with you, and as such would like to meet with you. Would a lunch meeting be agreeable to you? I would like to suggest as a location the King Charles Hotel dining room, located on River Street.

Would next Wednesday, the 31st, at 2:00 in the afternoon be a convenient time? Please also let me know if the location is acceptable to you. My assistant manager, Rory Webster, will be joining us with graphs and charts to better express our ideas.

It is, as always, a pleasure doing business with you. I am looking forward to your reply.

Luke Skywalker
Manager, Castles Inc.

Dear Ms. Talbot,

My name is Veronica Harrison, and I am writing on behalf of Mr. Luke Skywalker, my employer at Castles Inc. We have been diligently working on the Five-Point Schedule that you requested.

To discuss our company's ideas and progress, Mr. Skywalker is excited to meet with you. He suggests having a lunch meeting at the King Charles Hotel on River Street, accompanied by our assistant manager, Rory Webster. Would next Wednesday, the 31st, at 2:00 in the afternoon be convenient for you? Additionally, please let me know if the location is acceptable.

As we eagerly await your response, we look forward to the opportunity to meet with you.

Best regards,

Veronica Harrison
Castles Inc.

To revise this email, here are a few hints:

1. Use formal language: Ensure that the tone of the email is professional and respectful. Use appropriate salutations and avoid informal language or contractions.

2. Clearly state your purpose: Clearly mention on whose behalf you are writing the email and why you're reaching out to the recipient. In this case, it is to set up a lunch meeting to discuss the progress of the requested Five-Point Schedule.

3. Suggest a specific time and location: Offer a specific date, time, and location for the lunch meeting. In this case, you have suggested Wednesday, the 31st, at 2:00 in the afternoon at the King Charles Hotel on River Street. It is important to confirm the recipient's convenience and let them know they can provide an alternative time or location if needed.

4. Express enthusiasm and anticipation: Convey your excitement and eagerness to meet with the recipient. This will show your genuine interest in the meeting and the value you place on their time and input.

5. Provide clear contact details: Make sure to include your name, position, and the company you represent. This information helps the recipient easily identify who you are and how to contact you if needed.

By following these hints, you can revise your email to effectively set up a lunch meeting with the client on your employer's behalf.