I am currently writing a paper for my english class. Can someone read this paragraph and tell me some more things i should add/fix to make it correct, grammatically and book wise?
In our paper we are supposed to:
Anazlyze Homer's style, purpose, and theme in the iliad. support your assertions with evidence and qutoes from the epic poem.
According to the rubric it should include the title of the book, author, a few sentences about the story and a clearly worded thesis.
Here is my first paragraph:
The Iliad is a tale about the wrath of Achilles and fate. The Iliad, written by Homer and translated by W.H.D. Rouse is an epic poem that displays a very specific style of writing, a purpose, and several themes. Fate is shown to be a driving force behind many of the events of The Iliad. Homer writes this story in such a way that you can clearly depict his style, purpose, and theme throughout the entire poem.
Does this seem decent to you guys or could someone help me out?
Sure, I'd be happy to help you with your paragraph. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:
1. Consider starting with a more engaging introduction that captures the reader's attention. For example, you could start with a brief summary of the events or a captivating description of the central conflict.
2. Instead of saying "The Iliad is a tale about the wrath of Achilles and fate," you could expand on it to provide more context or background information. You can mention that the story is set during the Trojan War and briefly explain the relationship between Achilles and the Greek army.
3. When mentioning the author, it is common to provide a bit more information about their significance or background. For example, you could mention that Homer is considered one of the greatest poets of ancient Greece.
4. Instead of saying "an epic poem that displays a very specific style of writing, a purpose, and several themes," you can elaborate on the unique style, purpose, and themes that are evident in the poem. For example, you can mention the use of vivid imagery, the exploration of heroism and honor, and the examination of the consequences of pride and anger.
5. It would be beneficial to include specific examples or evidence from the poem to support your assertions. For instance, you can mention particular scenes, characters, or quotes that showcase Homer's style, purpose, and theme.
6. Make sure your thesis statement is explicit and clearly states your main argument or interpretation. You can revise it to reflect the specific elements you plan to analyze. For example, "Through analyzing Homer's style, purpose, and themes in The Iliad, this paper argues that the poet effectively illustrates the complexity of human nature and the consequences of unchecked emotions."
By incorporating these suggestions, you can enhance your paragraph and provide a more comprehensive and engaging introduction to your paper.