posted by John on .
We are starting to get a feeling as to what it must have been like to live during the 1960s, at least in the South. Write a paragraph explaining whether or not you would hav eliked to live in the '60's. Explain why or why not.
I would not like to live in the 1960's. There is too much prejudice and racism happening.
Equality is something I believe in. Everyone should be treated equally. We are all people, separted from each other
by color and beliefs. All of us are unique in our own way. Just because someone is of different color doesn't mean
you should treat them differently. Because of this reason, I would not like to live in the 60's. When we unite, we become
stronger as a nation.
Just asking, is this a good enough paragraph?
You have a problem with verb tenses in your first two sentences. You should change your present-tense verbs to past tense. For instance, your first sentence should be: I would not have liked to live in the 1960s.
How should you change your second sentence?
I disagree with this sentence:
We are all people, separated from each other by color and beliefs.
Are we really separated from each other by color and beliefs? Each one of us is unique as you stated, but we are all human beings. Nothing separates us but our prejudices.
Ms. Sue is right. If "we are all...separated from each other by color and beliefs," then you have contradicted yourself (contradicted your 3rd and 4th sentences).
You are also writing in broad generalities. You need to include some specifics.