proofread my essay?
posted by Emily on .
If I post my rough draft of an essay on here, can someone proofread it please? I would REALLY appreciate if someone did because I'm doing horrible on it and it would be really helpful if I had someone else's input :) thanks so SO much!!!
Yes, of course, but late at night as it is now, it may take a few hours...volunteers do sleep occasionally.
I know, and I'm sorry about that (its 7:31 here, I totally forgot about East Coast time lol) k i'll have it up in a few min...
ESSAY PROMPT: A theme is an insight into life offered by a text. In author Elie Wiesel's memoir, Night, the themes of emotional death, self-preservation versus family commitment, and the struggle of faith are developed throughout the text. In a well-developed essay, choose one of the themes and state Wiesel's position on this particular theme. Use the text to support your argument. (I picked "self-preservation versus family commitment")
ESSAY: The choice between life and death is almost obvious, but when choosing life means killing a loved one, it can be a very difficult, unbearable decision. Most people in this day and age will not have to worry about it. In Elie Wiesel's memoir Night, however, he was faced with this dilemma every day. In this book he describes his experiences in concentration camps during the Holocaust. People in general, when faced with inhumanity, will often lose the perception of what they used to consider humane and will act on harsh circumstances.
¶ Even with all the horror around him, Wiesel managed to not stoop down to the level of purposely deserting his father, as one boy did. During one of the prisoner's long marches to a camp, a boy noticed his father, Rabbi Eliahou, lagging behind due to his age and health. However, instead of sticking with his father, he sped up to get rid of him. Wiesel was shocked that a Rabbi's son would do that to his own father. Wiesel then prayed to God to not let him do to his father what Rabbi Eliahou's son did to his. Wiesel persevered through his entire life at the camps without ever trying to rid of his father.
¶ People tend to lose sight of what is most dear to them, especially when it comes to surviving. A boy named Meir murdered his father on a train for a piece of bread, even though he even saved a piece for him. Through his blind fury he didn't seem to realize or even care that it was his father he was killing. Meir only cared about getting food to survive, not about the survival of his own kin. Meir degraded to a person without feeling and emotion, or even a sense of humanity.
¶ In difficult times, one will lose their grasp on reality. This happened to one particular boy. In their bunkhouse,a boy was beating his father senseless because he could not learn to march in step with everyone else. The boy seemed to "forget" it was his father. This shows that the boy became almost like an SS officer, beating random people for silly reasons.
¶ In the harsh life at the concentration camps, many sons abandoned their fathers because they lost the sense of what was dear to them. In his memoir Night, fifteen-year old Elie Wiesel fought against this temptation. Other people were dealt with this situation also, but they lost the fight, and their fathers also. Wiesel addresses this difficult subject in this book.
I know this is HORRIBLE but I really didn't understand the prompt even when we talked about it in class. I appreciate you guys taking the time to read it :-)
Your essay is not terrible. Maybe just give it a little more depth. Your grammar seems to be great.