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sociology

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hello, i hve got a sociology question.The question is that 'Assess how much social mobility is there in the Britain".It is a question of 8 marks.

Answer;Social mobility is the term used to describe the movement up or down ine the social hierarchy during one'lifetimes.In fact there are many social mobility in Britain compared to the past.This is due to the following factors

firstly,nearly 80% of people born from w.class parents and at about 3/4 people are born from middle class parents.

Secondly, there is more rooms at the top,the last century has seen a decline in the manual work or job and an expansion of the non manualprofessional, managerial and routine clerical work work which in other words means that people from middle class by achieving higher status by entering in the middle class.Embourgeoisement is taking place as people are entering in middle class throuh promotion and education and so on..

FREE AND COMPULSORY EDUCATION;
a considerable children from w.class background are now getting the opportunities to go to school,University to study and they are also being given their school materials.This are allowing them to achieve upward mobility.It allows them to obtain their educational qualifications required for upward mobility.

Moreover there is marriage,people from working class are achieving upward mobility by marrying someone from a higher class but it applies mainly for women.

EXCEPTIONAL LUCK AND TALENT: Some people are achieving higher socila class by winning the lottery or by selling their talents such as actors, football player and so on.

From these mentioned above, we can thus say that there is alrge number of people who are achieving upward mobility in Britain through different ways such as marriage, education,exceptional luck and so on.

Now i want to know that if i answer in this way..Can i score 8 marks in this question???
thanx in advance!

  • sociology - ,

    First of all, read all this aloud to someone or have someone else read it aloud to you. You'll hear the errors whenever the reader stumbles over some words or phrasing in your writing.

    Also, you need to run this through a spell-checker -- or use a dictionary.
    http://www.answers.com

    Once you've done those things, please re-post if you want further comments.

    =)

  • sociology - ,

    Writeacher is correct, the biggest problem with your essay is structural, spelling, and awkward phrasing.
    The issue I have is what is social hierarchy? Perhaps my upbringing in the US southwest doesn't clue me, but to me, social hierarchy is an ill-defined concept. If social mobility depends on that term, then the entire concept falters. Or perhaps, my want to see scores attached to the social hierarchy model (Rung number, perhaps) so we can quantify mobility and position on the hierarchy.
    So I am suggesting if you are going to describe movement amongst ill-defined strata, and comparing it to the past, perhaps you need to focus on defining the strata and comparing it with the past. Did the past include technical fields? What is the difference between tradesmen of the past and the present? Are there distinctions between old money and new money? What is new money? Has the social value of land ownership declined?
    Yes, of course, the questions I posed move the essay towards being a book. I suspect you are not inclined to do that, but I do suggest you think on some of the questions.

    And finally, many years ago, in college (University of Texas) I decided that sociologists spoke a different language than I. I majored in Electrical Engineering, and have been happy with that decision. As a result, my comments might be biased towards precision and testable hypothesis.
    Have fun with the essay. Good luck.

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