Posted by Writeacher on Thursday, October 9, 2008 at 3:44pm.
Sandra, I removed your original post because you included your whole name, etc. That's not a safe thing to do online.
Here's your paper, with comments:
Love...So many words have been told, so many poems have been composed, so many songs have been sang. But if you ask a person what really love is, you always start getting different answers and sometimes those answers have nothing in common. Check on proper use of ellipsis ( http://www.answers.com/topic/ellipsis ); check to make sure you have all run-ons corrected; check to make sure all verbs are correctly used, including irregular verbs; rephrase so that "you" and all of its forms are not used in your paper.
For some people love is complete devotion and endless adoration, for others is temporary feeling that will disappear in time. For some people it is fairy-tale and for others it is a dream come true. Some people say love is once in a life time thing and others believe that after one love comes another. The more you try to find a universal definition of love, the more you get confused from all these words you get from different people around you. The more you think you get closer to the true meaning of that filing the more you realize that the definition of love is probably your own, unique, and sincere truth about love.
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam Keen.
Again, double-check to make sure there are no run-ons; check to make sure all comma uses are correct.
Love takes time, practice, understanding, patience as also acceptation. Time its most important. It helps you to develop all those aspect. Step by step you learn about person, about his needs, expectations, interests. To practice you need to understand. To understand you need patience. And sometimes you just need to accept thing they are. And for all this, all what you need is time.
Judy Brady, editor of many stories and articles describes in one of her essays,we I Want a Wife,we the ideal wife every man dreams of. She describes all kinds of duties of a wife, but she never mentions the word love. Isn't that what most important in any kind of relationship? We should remember that appreciation comes not from what we do but from what we give. You love someone for whom and what he/she is, not what you can make out of them or what you can use them for. Accept that person's faults and attributes, knowing that he/she will add fulfillment to your life and that you will have happiness in knowing you have someone to love and that that someone loves you.
The word love you should be carrying within desire to show someone you love them. You should make sure that you mean it and willing to do anything for that special person.
Also try to relate. See things from their perspective. Instead of pushing your view-of-the-matter onto them, acknowledge their feelings, their backgrounds, and their individuality. They are just as capable of love as you are.
Another important thing is to love unconditionally. It means to love without conditions. Let a person be himself. Love them no matter what they do, just simply love them for who they are.
You should expect nothing in return. That’s the best way. Giving love doesn't guarantee receiving exactly the same thing. People are different. They express their feeling in different ways. All of as have different methods of showing their love, and you shouldn't expect to be loved back in exactly the same way you love that person. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.
Read your paper aloud or have someone else read it aloud to you. You'll find the places where you or the other person stumbles and has to reread the sentence -- there's an error there, usually in wording.
Also -- about the topic as a whole. You are defining only one type of love, so you need to state it: romantic love. What other types of love are there that you are NOT including in your paper?
- English -- for Sandra - Writeacher, Thursday, October 9, 2008 at 3:46pm
Also -- make sure you are developing all paragraphs completely. Generally speaking, your introduction and conclusion should be about 4 or 5 sentences and fully developed body paragraphs are anywhere between 6 and 10 sentences, depending on how many details you are supplying and explaining to support the topic sentence in each paragraph. Whenever I see body paragraphs with one or two sentences, I know there's a problem with the student's organization.
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