ok so i have asked help already on this same article but i need help making this paragraph better and more understanding.
Soccer is a simplier game. The goal of the game is for the players to kick the ball into there teams net and there are more plays involved. In football there are more perplexing plays involved. The football players most catch the ball and get it to the end zone with out getting tackled.
ok should i compare soccer to yet another sport or is that one ok?
does it make you want to read more?
what things could make it better??
does it even make sense
plse help. i am so stressed up this article
Here is a really good site for basic soccer.
http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/soccer/soccerfull.html
You might start the story with something of interest to students. For instance:
If you have seen the movie, Bend it like Beckham, then you know something about soccer. But do you know the positions, what their jobs are, what skills are needed? Then build your article on those topics. At the end you might say something about the fact that Beckham is working in the US to make soccer the popular sport it is in England.
thx that helped me a lot
Sure, I'd be happy to help you improve your paragraph!
Here's a revised version of your paragraph that is clearer and more concise:
"Soccer is a simpler game than football. In soccer, the objective is to kick the ball into the opposing team's net, and there are various strategies and plays involved. On the other hand, football includes more complex plays, where players must catch the ball and make their way to the end zone without getting tackled."
To address your questions:
1. Comparing soccer to another sport is not necessary in this paragraph, as you're already contrasting it with football. However, if you want to add a comparison to another sport, make sure it's relevant and provides additional insight.
2. While this revised paragraph provides a clearer understanding of the differences between soccer and football, it may not necessarily make someone want to read more. To make it more engaging, you could consider adding some interesting facts or examples about the sports or highlighting the unique aspects of each game.
3. Some things that could make the paragraph even better are:
- Using specific terminology: Instead of using generic phrases like "there are more plays involved" or "the players must catch the ball," try incorporating specific soccer and football terminology to enhance the reader's understanding.
- Providing more examples: Adding specific examples of perplexing plays in football or highlighting some popular strategies in soccer can make the paragraph more interesting and informative.
4. The revised paragraph does make sense and is easier to comprehend than the original version. However, incorporating the suggestions mentioned above would further improve its clarity and readability.
Remember, practice and revision are key when writing. Take your time to refine your paragraph, and don't hesitate to seek feedback from others to enhance the overall quality of your article. Good luck!