posted by i love polka on .
how can i put this in a much better sentence?
Their acquaintance starts off unpleasantly but Elizabeth’s personality catches Mr. Darcy’s heart and finds himself attracted to her.
More concise language and construction. Try something like this:
Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's acquaintance starts off pleasantly, but soon Mr. Darcy finds himself strongly attracted to Elizabeth because of her ____ personality.
(You determine the adjective you want to put in before "personality.")
I think it's NICE .
[Well, that's not much more concise, but the clauses and phrases are less flip-floppy all over the place!]