Posted by precious on Monday, July 21, 2008 at 6:56am.
People are changing everyday because of the changes in this world. The economy changes everything that we have become accustomed to,like the way we spend our money, and the choice to become adjustable to whatever the situation is.
Let's start with just the first part (not a full paragraph yet, I think).
1. You have some form of the word "change" three times in the first two sentences. Can you find some different words to express the same ideas?
2. Use "such as" instead of "like" when you are about to give examples.
3. There's a strangeness in the two examples you give:
~~ "the way we spend our money"
~~ "the choice to become adjustable to whatever the situation is."
It would probably be better to rephrase that sentence like this:
The economy changes everything that we have become accustomed to, such as the way we spend our money. We must make choices and become adjustable to whatever the situation is.
Now, take a good look at the other parts of the paper, and check for similar problems. Also look for run-ons, subject-verb agreement problems, punctuation problems, word choice problems, among others. For example, make sure every subject has a verb. One that doesn't is in this: "Although it my money... " The subject of this clause is "it" but there is no verb to go with it. What should you add?
Here are some links to good grammar help where you can look up information alphabetically or by category.
When you have gone over the rest of your paper, please repost the other parts, and I'll review it for you.
Here are some additional places online that may be helpful for you:
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