Homework Help: Writing Skills--Essay

Posted by precious on Monday, July 21, 2008 at 6:56am.

People are changing everyday because of the changes in this world. The economy changes everything that we have become accustomed to,like the way we spend our money, and the choice to become adjustable to whatever the situation is.
I use to buy over three hundred dollars in groceries and it would last for that month, now the groceries don't last because of inflation.Although i spends $300.00, I only receive half the amount of food. I can't enjoy the foods i use to, because its too expensive. This is an example of adjusting to inflation.
Yesterday I went to the bank and they refused to give the amount of money i requested. Although it my money, I can only get what the amount they wanted me to have. Here is another adjusting situation. I dont have to know or like when these changes happens, I just have to adjust to what the world wants me to do. Truefully, I don't like it. This change is causing people to the very opposite of what they use to do. The positive situation is where people change without any retalation, but what about the negative? In the beginning I stated that" the economy changes what we have become accustomed to" and it has due to inflation, everywhere around the world prices are regular increasing. People have to choose to pay a bill or feed thier children. (Please help me by doing what you all do best)Tell me what i need to improve.

Writing Skills--Essay - Writeacher, Monday, July 21, 2008 at 9:19am
People are changing everyday because of the changes in this world. The economy changes everything that we have become accustomed to,like the way we spend our money, and the choice to become adjustable to whatever the situation is.

Let's start with just the first part (not a full paragraph yet, I think).
1. You have some form of the word "change" three times in the first two sentences. Can you find some different words to express the same ideas?
2. Use "such as" instead of "like" when you are about to give examples.
3. There's a strangeness in the two examples you give:
~~ "the way we spend our money"
and
~~ "the choice to become adjustable to whatever the situation is."
It would probably be better to rephrase that sentence like this:
The economy changes everything that we have become accustomed to, such as the way we spend our money. We must make choices and become adjustable to whatever the situation is.

Now, take a good look at the other parts of the paper, and check for similar problems. Also look for run-ons, subject-verb agreement problems, punctuation problems, word choice problems, among others. For example, make sure every subject has a verb. One that doesn't is in this: "Although it my money... " The subject of this clause is "it" but there is no verb to go with it. What should you add?

Here are some links to good grammar help where you can look up information alphabetically or by category.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index2.htm

http://www.ucalgary.ca/UofC/eduweb/grammar/index.htm

http://www.leasttern.com/Grammar/humbuggrammar.html

http://members.cox.net/lenco1/grammarpractice/

When you have gone over the rest of your paper, please repost the other parts, and I'll review it for you.

=)
Writing Skills--Essay - Writeacher, Monday, July 21, 2008 at 9:31am
Here are some additional places online that may be helpful for you:

http://www.esl-lab.com/

http://iteslj.org/v/e/

http://esl.about.com/od/beginningvocabulary/Beginning_Level_English_Vocabulary_Resources.htm

http://esl.about.com/library/lessons/blgr_beginner_review1.htm

http://a4esl.org/

http://www.eslgold.com/

http://esl.about.com/cs/writing/ht/ht_essay.htm

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