English Improving writing rough draft
posted by Kaleigh-Anne on .
please check his for me thank you very much :)
There are on going problems that need to be addressed.First there is uneven allocation of tasks. While Bonnie and Molly are working overtime at least twice a month, Jack and Rachel often have no work to do. This causes friction between the workers.
Second, Melanie and Jessica share an administrative assistant who does most of their work for them.
Third, Larry's assistant can not get all his work done in the 15 hours that he works
I do not think that the company is working as well as it can and would like to offer some suggestions.
Jack and Rachel could help Bonnie and Molly. To be successful the company needs teamwork. Jessica and Melanie should do more of their own work, freeing up their administrative assistant to help others. If Larry's assistant is unable to work more than 15 hours, perhaps he should be replaced by someone who can do so. Is he in fact able to work more hours?
There are 125 employees in the company. Some could be trained to help our group out when we are extremely busy and they are not.
A full time administrative assistant could help Samuel and Frank Daly who have no assistant.
Additional suggestions that I have rejected after much thought include hiring from Tina's Temp Agency, which is only a quick fix, and cutting back on employees' paid vacation time, which might cause them to not work as hard.
I have spent over 30 years working with the public including the 10 years I have been working with this company. In all this time I have never seen a company operate so poorly. The uneven productivity has had a negative impact on the company. The company will start to lose their clients. If the problem isn’t fixed soon the company will continue to make a bad name for itself. This company has been is business for 50 years and we have several clients that have been using this company for at least 15 years. The employees' morale is getting quite low. This may cause some employees to quit which would not help
The company's finances are slowly sinking. This has been going on for over a month, which is way to long. If you hire extra help that would improve the stress level that all lot of the employee’s feel. If the employees did not feel stressed they would do better at their jobs which would increase company morale.
Each paragraph should read smoothly. Do not hit that Enter key after each sentence. It should be used only at the end of each paragraph.
Make sure that every sentence has proper end-punctuation and that there is one space after each sentence within a paragraph.
In the first sentence, you need to name the company. The first sentence should read this way: There are on-going problems that need to be addressed at ABC Company. (Also, be sure to note the hyphen in the word on-going.) You should probably also name the company at the end of the third paragraph, too.