Homework Help: English (Revised)

Posted by BADAMS on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 2:43pm.

Like a teenager’s selfish desire to obtain status through possessions, Paul’s mother demonstrates the same immature importance of material objects in D.H Lawrence’s short story “The Rocking-Horse Winner.” This wonderful depiction of the destructive nature of materialism sets an example for all as the mother’s wanting exceeds the family’s income. This places a strain on the entire household, ultimately leading to extreme consequences.

English (Revised) - Writeacher, Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 2:51pm
Sounds really good. I'd replace "extreme" at the end with "disastrous," though.
English (Revised) - GuruBlue, Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 3:32pm
You did a great job of revising!!! It flows very nicely .

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