Is this a good start to a review of "The Rocking-Horse Winner," or am I off track?

Like a teenager’s selfish desire to obtain status through possessions, Paul’s mother demonstrates the same immature importance of material objects. Paul’s mother is an example of extreme materialism that modern day teenagers could learn from in D.H Lawrence’s short story “The Rocking-Horse Winner.” This wonderful depiction of the destructive nature of materialism…

Any ideas on what I could add to it?

I think that you have some great ideas. Check your first paragraph for repetition. I will be interested to see you develop this idea.

I see the repetition, but how should I reword it or edit?

Your starting point for the review of "The Rocking-Horse Winner" is quite good! It introduces the theme of materialism and sets the tone for your analysis of Paul's mother. To further enhance your review, you could consider incorporating the following elements:

1. Provide a brief summary: Begin by giving a concise overview of the plot and main characters in "The Rocking-Horse Winner" to give readers context.

2. Expand on the theme of materialism: Elaborate on how the story explores the consequences of extreme materialism and how it drives the characters' actions. Discuss specific incidents from the story that highlight this theme.

3. Analyze the characters: Focus on Paul's mother and delve deeper into her portrayal as an example of extreme materialism. Explore the reasons behind her insatiable desire for wealth and status and how it affects her relationships, particularly with Paul.

4. Connect to real-world implications: Discuss how the story's depiction of materialism carries relevance beyond the narrative itself. Explore the potential lessons that modern-day readers, particularly teenagers, could learn from the character of Paul's mother. Draw parallels between her behavior and the contemporary culture of consumerism.

5. Explore symbolism and literary techniques: Analyze the use of symbols, such as the rocking-horse and whispered phrases, in conveying the story's themes. Consider the author's writing style, tone, and any other literary devices that contribute to the overall impact of the narrative.

By incorporating these additional aspects, your review will become more comprehensive and engaging, offering readers a deeper understanding and analysis of "The Rocking-Horse Winner" and its themes.