english- please revised
posted by rose - Ms. Sue on .
What feedback did you receive from the CWE, your peer reviewer, and your instructor? Explain what feedback you will incorporate and what feedback you will not incorporate into your paper. Include a rationale for your choices.
The Center for Writing Excellence suggested changes in grammar and style. Also to evaluate each comment and to make sure that rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed and performed accordingly.
The peer review from my classmate was pretty thorough. There were a lot of valid points that my peer reviewer made and that I will take into consideration such as the introduction needs more of a punch line to grab the audience’s attention. Also clarification on the rising cost of food table regarding the numbers on the left side. The peer reviewer stated that the WIC paragraph was unclear and made the following comment: “More explanation is needed with this topic. The WIC program does not have a limit on the amount of the checks. The individual that has the WIC checks has a list in the back where they can choose their products that are available for them. Once they have met what is available for them, the cashier enters the dollar amount for that purchase. So overall, there is really no set limit on it” In addition to the WIC, I will intensify my research on government founded program such as food stamps. Overall the peer reviewer was very complimentary on the research paper.
The peer review from my teacher was very clear and thought the illustration validated the paper. He also mentioned that the paper was well written and concise. Where he saw opportunity was in the conclusion. I will take his advice and incorporate the two questions into the body of the paper.
The reason that I decided to use both the peer reviewer and the teacher’s feedback because they are very rationale and would help strengthen my paper. In essence, the benefit that I gain from the peer reviewers will help improve my editing skills. Also there is no feedback mentioned that I will not incorporate into my paper because most of the comments were very positive.
Your second sentence is incomplete.
I question the accuracy of the peer reviewer's comments about the WIC program. I believe that each person is allowed only so much money from the program. You may want to look into that more.
In the third paragraph -- your teacher didn't give you a "peer" review. A peer review is one made by another student or coworker.
This is a good paper! :-)
Thanks a lot Ms. Sue
You're welcome, Rose!