Homework Help: English 102(writing in the discipline)

Posted by james on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:19am.

Telecommunication is the transmission of data and information between computers using a communication link such as a standard telephone line. Typically, a basic telecommunications system would consist of a computer or terminal on each end, communication equipment for sending and receiving data, and a communication channel connecting the two users. In fact, it is now the most used technology in terms of networking in business. Furthermore, networking is one of the factors that help business companies to sell their products. To make business grow faster one must use networking.

this is the first paragraph of my research paper..

is it correct?

English 102(writing in the discipline) - Ms. Sue, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:22am
What is the subject of your research paper?

In your first paragraph you should make clear whether your topic is telecommunication or networking.
English 102(writing in the discipline) - james, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:26am
I mean that is the first paragraph of my introduction.

The importance of networking in business is that it helps companies to make their products become more popular. Networking also helps other companies to grow faster. It is also an exchange of information, contacts, referrals and goodwill. It leads to new relationships, new opportunities and greater accomplishments. In addition, networking can be an excellent way to reach more customers.

this is the second paragraph of my introduction.
English 102(writing in the discipline) - Ms. Sue, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:33am
I think this should be your first paragraph. It was disconcerting to read about telecommunication when the topic is about the importance of networking. Telecommunication is just one way that business people network.
English 102(writing in the discipline) - james, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:39am
ok thanks
- English 102(writing in the discipline) - Ms. Sue, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:40am
  You're welcome -- and good luck with your paper. :-)
English 102(writing in the discipline) - james, Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 11:48am
I hope so.. hehe

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