english please revise
posted by Christi on .
In this study I will argue that prolonged exposure of social oppression and subjugation is the basis is for the African- American women limited participation in society’s political system. I will support my argument by providing a detailed analysis of the impact of social powerlessness and devalued racial identity focusing on racism sexism and economic oppression and its impact upon African-American women who experience these oppressions simultaneously. Thus, these experiences leave African American women drained from both creativity and vision, preventing them from achieving any form of power respectively.
Delete the first six words of the first sentence.
Rephrase the second sentence so that it doesn't sound like a 3rd-grader; get rid of the "I will do this and that" type of phrasing.
Commas are needed in the series in the second sentence.