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these two paragraphs are from a paper I am writing for my international law class can someome please revise and let me know what you think. thanks
Indeed, as it was customary, over foreign public vessels in its ports nation’s understood to waive the exercise of its territorial jurisdiction. This recognition, based on international courtesy and not a matter of “right” as established in The Schooner Exchange v M’Faddon, because a vessel representing its sovereign power and the dignity of an independent state, and its crew, would not submit to another power (1200). However in respect to foreign private ships in a port there is a different practice.
Rather in practice, it has been commonly recognized, in particular the United States, that over private vessels the territorial sovereign holds absolute jurisdiction. For example, in the Wildenhus’s case in which a Belgian native was accused of homicide against another Belgian on board a Belgian vessel anchored in the port of Jersey City (1498). The Supreme Court of the United States sustained the jurisdiction of the lower courts of New Jersey, based on the territory sovereign principle under customary law. Although, treaty in place, between the Belgian government and the United States, in which under Article 11 (21 Stat 776) of the treaty provided the Belgian government consuls with “exclusive charge of internal order of the merchant vessels of their nation” and that the State of New Jersey is without jurisdiction. The circuit court refused to deliver the prisoners to the consul ( Smit1498).

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    Indeed, as it was customary, over foreign public vessels in its ports nation’s (NOT A POSSESSIVE.) understood to waive ("WAIVED") the exercise of its territorial jurisdiction (PUT "OVER...PORTS" AT END OF SENTENCE). This recognition (UNCLEAR WHAT "THIS" REFERS TO.), based on international courtesy and not a matter of “right” as established in The Schooner Exchange v M’Faddon, (WHERE IS VERB FOR SENTENCE? THE FOLLOWING IS A DEPENDENT CLAUSE.) because a vessel representing its sovereign power and the dignity of an independent state, and its crew, would not submit to another power (1200). However (COMMA) in respect to foreign private ships in a port (COMMA) there is a different practice.

    TO INDICATE NEW PARAGRAPH, SKIP LINE OR INDENT.

    Rather in practice, it has been commonly recognized, in particular ("PARTICULARLY IN") the United States, that over private vessels the (DELETE "THE") territorial sovereign("-ITY") holds absolute jurisdiction (PUT "OVER...VESSELS" HERE.). For example, in the Wildenhus’s case in which (DELETE "IN WHICH.") a Belgian native was accused of homicide against another Belgian on board a Belgian vessel anchored in the port of Jersey City (1498). The Supreme Court of the United States sustained the jurisdiction of the lower courts of New Jersey, based on the territory sovereign("-ITY") principle under customary law. Although, treaty in place, between the Belgian government and the United States, in which under Article 11 (21 Stat 776) of the treaty provided the Belgian government consuls with “exclusive charge of internal order of the merchant vessels of their nation” and that the State of New Jersey is without jurisdiction. (PREVIOUS IS NOT A SENTENCE. IT WOULD ALSO BE BETTER TO DIVIDE IT INTO TWO SENTENCES.)The circuit court refused to deliver the prisoners to the consul (Smit 1498).

    IN ENGLISH, PHRASES MODIFYING THE VERB TYPICALLY FOLLOW RATHER THAN COMING BEFORE THE VERB. SEVERAL TIMES, YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A VERB.

    TO ITALICIZE OR UNDERLINE TITLES, PRECEDE TITLE WITH I OR U, RESPECTIVELY, WITHIN BRACKETS (< AND >). THEN FOLLOW THE TITLE WITH THE SAME LETTER PRECEDED WITH A SLASH (/) WITHIN BRACKETS.

    In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

    If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

    Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

    I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.

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