Homework Help: english/please revise

Posted by Christi on Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 10:04pm.

During the1970s, a prolonged insurgency took place in the province of Baluchistan between Bauch insurgency and the Pakistani government. Over fifty five thousand tribesmen fought against seventy thousand Pakistani Army troops (Grare 6). This was led after the Pakistani Political Party (PPP) implemented a new constitution that would increase provincial autonomy. However, tensions between the Baluchistan provincial government and the Pakistani central government increased, over limitations of autonomy. By 1973, the PPP government dismissed the Baluchistan province governors, under the allegations that there was a plot emerging to overthrow the government (Akhtar 74). However, Baluchistan provincial government was not initially involved with the guerrilla preparations. It wasn’t after the dismissal, in particular Baloch sardar (chief) Bakhsh Marri, who responded to the dismissal of the Pakistani government by announcing his and Baloch support for the guerrillas, which later formed into the Baluch Peoples Liberation Front (BPLF) . At first this movement did not seek independence, but Baluch nationalist, especially the younger generation later maintained that “nothing less than independence for Baluchistan was acceptable” (Akhtar 75).

english/please revise - Ms. Sue, Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 10:17pm
This sentence doesn't make much sense. Please rewrite it so that you clarify what you mean.

It wasn’t after the dismissal, in particular Baloch sardar (chief) Bakhsh Marri, who responded to the dismissal of the Pakistani government by announcing his and Baloch support for the guerrillas, which later formed into the Baluch Peoples Liberation Front (BPLF) .
- english/please revise - Christi, Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 10:32pm
  how about this?
  
  It wasn't after the dismissal that Baloch tribal chief, Bakhsh Marri anounced his support for the guerrillas.
english/please revise - Christi, Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 10:34pm
I forgot "until"
english/please revise - Ms. Sue, Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 10:38pm
That's good! :-)
english/please revise - Writeacher, Friday, April 18, 2008 at 7:12am
And don't forget the comma after "Marri"

=)

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