Homework Help: Eglish/ grammar revise please

Posted by Christi on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 12:02pm.

How can I make this sentence better? I am trying to paraphrase, but the last part of the sentence does not sound good.
In the case of Yunis, the United States contended jurisdiction found in section 1203 of the Hostage Taking Statue and section 32 of the Aircraft Piracy Statue which develop from traditional international legal bases universal or personality principle (Emory 116).

Eglish/ grammar revise please - GuruBlue, Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 12:36pm
OK.... the part of the sentence beginning with the word "jurisdiction" is a clause. You need a comma after jurisdiction because the rest of the clause beginning with "found" is a participial phrase. SOOOOO, that clause doesn't have a verb. That is the reason it doesn't make sense. Now, the US contended that its jurisdiction did WHAT?
Then, put the participial phrase in commas and follow it with the rest of your sentence. Be careful not to make your sentences overly convoluted.
Clarity is important.

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