Homework Help: Grammar/English

Posted by Manny to ANYONE on Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 10:01am.

May I have someone proofread this? It is for a business presentation I have for a class scheduled today at noon.

Mohegan Sun may have entered a maturity stage given that there are strong challenges to marketing management. However, Mohegan Sun cycles back into the growth stage through strong planned projects, for example, Project Horizon, Pocono Downs, and so forth.

The maturity stage in the life cycle is where a product is considered well-known. A reduction in sales growth leads to selling other products. Advertising and sales promotions may increase in order to find better versions of the product. To provide an example, the Earth Casino may have hit the maturity stage prior to Project Sunburst’s opening due to a demand for a hotel, convention space, entertainment (cabaret, arena), shopping, and new restaurants. Bingo and poker also entered a maturity stage and eventually dipped. Greater competition is experienced at this time, and we find that factor considering Rhode Island, New York, Atlantic City, and from our neighbor across the way.

At this point, a maturing company should consider modifying the market, product, and marketing mix. Reviewing what direction is it headed in (Hedgehog Concept--find one thing, do it well and stick with it), if the staff on board as far as goals (getting the right people on the bus), if the company is making the most of and retaining its most valuable employees, and if the company is meeting the expectation of its customer base should also be considered.

I believe that we can all agree that Mohegan Sun is taking into account all considerations. Mohegan Sun is promoting “the brand,” sticking with one thing and doing it well, and has exceptional employees who follow the core values. Mohegan Sun continues to evolve to meet changing consumer needs by providing excellent customer service and exciting new offerings. For example, in attempt to keep the product alive, denominations of slots include quarter-cents, pennies, and quarters. Equally important, poker is now coming back in Project Horizon. Mohegan Sun has a good offense and it is the best defense. Although there is greater competition from our neighbor and neighboring states, Mohegan sun strives to be the best of the best.

Grammar/English - Writeacher, Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 10:11am
Mohegan Sun may have entered a maturity stage with strong challenges to marketing management. However, Mohegan Sun cycles back into the growth stage through strong planned projects, for example, Project Horizon, Pocono Downs, and so forth.

The maturity stage in the life cycle is when a product is considered well-known. A reduction in sales growth leads to selling other products. Advertising and sales promotions may increase in order to find better versions of the product. To provide an example, the Earth Casino may have hit the maturity stage prior to Project Sunburst’s opening because of a demand for a hotel, convention space, entertainment (cabaret, arena), shopping, and new restaurants. Bingo and poker also entered a maturity stage and eventually dipped. Greater competition is experienced at this time, and we find that factor considering Rhode Island, New York, Atlantic City, and from our neighbor across the way. <~~ I don’t understand this last sentence, from “considering” onward. What do you mean?

At this point, a maturing company should consider modifying its market, product, and marketing mix: reviewing the direction in which the company is headed (Hedgehog Concept – find one thing, do it well and stick with it), whether the staff is on board as far as goals are concerned (getting the right people on the bus), if the company is making the most of and retaining its most valuable employees, and if the company is meeting the expectations of its customer base should also be considered. <~~This entire “paragraph” is one sentence, in reality. I altered the punctuation at the beginning (use of the colon) and to avoid clumsiness, I would also delete “should be considered” at the end.

I believe that we can all agree that Mohegan Sun is taking into account all considerations. Mohegan Sun is promoting “the brand,” sticking with one thing and doing it well, and has exceptional employees who follow the core values. Mohegan Sun continues to evolve to meet changing consumer needs by providing excellent customer service and exciting new offerings. For example, in an attempt to keep the product alive, denominations of slots include quarter-cents, pennies, and quarters. Equally important, poker is now coming back in Project Horizon. Mohegan Sun has a good offense which is also the best defense. Although there is greater competition from our neighbor and neighboring states, Mohegan Sun strives to be the best of the best.

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