Ok here is the first paragraph of my next essay. As you can see it is on "Steroids". But i dont think my title is appropriate for what im writing. Please say what you like about this paragraph, and please give me a good title for this paragraph. :)
In the last DECADE MANY records have been broken in the world of ATHLETICS, IS this DO TO harder training and work ethic or the ignorant testing of anabolic STEROIDS. With technological ADVANCES THE ??~~>enhancement of athletes is at the fingertips of scientists. With one SHOT AN athlete could UP testosterone levels by over a hundred percent. Is this safe? Or is the real question, is this fair to the athletes WHO YEARS AGO DID not have this option? Researchers have examined such supplements as dinabol and nandrolene and have found that THEIR structures are UNSTABLE MAYBE unnoticeable at the TIME BUT will definitely show up in the later future.
I'm pointing out trouble areas for you in CAPS above. The content of the paragraph looks like a good introduction. I hope the paper addresses what's in here and that you don't go off on some tangent. So far, your title seems to fit. Do you have any other angles about the steroid issue that you plan to include?
well steroids isn't the answer. Some but not all athletes use steroids. Most of them just work harder at things. It is not safe about the up of testosterone. It could really damage a person. It is fair because they didn't have these steroids which we should not.
The sentence should or could read:
Some, but not all athletes use steroids , because most of them work harder. It is unsafe to use testosterone, as it can cause damage to a person. This is fair, as we should not have the use of these steroids, nor should the athletes.
I may have changed too much, but this is how I think a proper sentence should read.
Hope this helps.
I LIKE TO SPELL RIGHT BUT I CAN`T SPELL IT RIGHT.NOW I WANT YOU HELP ME OKAY,AND I WANT TO STUDY WITH YOU...PLEASE.I WANT TO SCORE A FOR ENGLISH SUBJECT.
Thank You, i will try to fit this stuff into the paragraph, and also throughout the whole paper. I will repost tomorrow, with the next paragraph. Hopefully, it will be better. :)
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