The Medicine man (ITALICIZE OR UNDERLINE TITLE.)is one upon various movies ("IS A MOVIE" WOULD BE BETTER.) that should make us concerned with ("ABOUT") our environment. The things occurring to our environment are something that should concern us in a variety of aspects, one of them displayed in the Medicine Man (BE CONSISTENT IN DESIGNATING TITLE. CAPITALIZE "THE."). In reality (and as shown in the movie), plants and other various natural resources are capable of helping a high amount ("GREATLY")of today’s population for (DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE AND SUBSTITUTE "WITH." IT IS ASSUMED THAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE PRESENT.) things as simple as fighting a cold, (SINCE WHEN IS FIGHTING A COLD "SIMPLE"? THE ADJECTIVES "MILD" AND "SEVERE" WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE.) or as difficult as treating an HIV+ (DELETE "+". ALL HIV PATIENTS ARE POSITIVE.) patient. This is what (DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE.) most people are not aware of, (DELETE "OF,".) that an enormous amount of medicine used for all sorts of things (DELETE "USED...THINGS.") comes from various plants, both common and rare. This is a concern, due to the fact that (DELETE "THE FACT THAT.") the amounts of pollution produced by various common apparatuses used in the average society has a high influence in the loss of vegetation and beautiful rainforests all over the world, (START NEW SENTENCE.) which can have a great effect in various proportions, such as the economical stability of a country, and the chance of success it can have when it comes to the possibility of striking a trade deficit with it’s surrounding nations/ The issue at hand is very critical. With the loss of all this vegetation, remedies to critical medical conditions can vanish. Deforestation can occur for several reasons. The examples given in “The Medicine Man” are forest fires, and human interaction, one of many causes of the loss of forests and vegetation in urban, or rural areas. Some of the hazards are very difficult to prevent, such as forest fires. Others, such as the use of valuable trees to make desks, paper, and other resources used by most people today, can easily be stopped. There are always alternate resources that can perform the same tasks as wood can. We have technology to mass-produce various types of materials that can replace the use of wood to improve the environment. If forests aren’t demolished, the plants that are important for the creation of medicine have a higher chance of survival, so it’s best to avoid the use of wood. Though it would be good, there are also disadvantages to this plan. With production of wood gone, a lot of countries would enter something similar to “the great depression”. Some countries rely on wood as a resource to fuel their economy. If this resource became invaluable, some of many countries would have nothing to produce money, and eventually lose all economical income. Another inconvenience with using this plan would be the extinction of other resources. At this point, wood is more abundant than various other resources that can replace it, so it might not be a better idea to follow the plan listed above. Wood is a renewing source, while other resources used today, such as oil, will not be easily produced, and are likely to vanish soon. With all things considered, it’s a hard choice to decide which is best for the world, but it is apparent that changing this can bring a lot of difficulties, and few advantages. The main topic at hand is saving trees, and all the vegetation that can be beneficial, and it seems that either way, there’s a good possibility that some of the plants we need will
THE SUGGESTIONS ABOVE SHOULD GIVE YOU SOME IDEA OF THE CHANGES YOU SHOULD MAKE IN THE REST OF YOUR PAPER. YOU ARE VERY "WORDY" — USING EXTRA WORDS AND PHRASES WHEN THEY ARE NOT NEEDED.
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.
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