Posted by Bizzy on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 4:01pm.
The Site I visited is The Nxx Cxx School (NCS) located in downtown Long Beach; it is a K-8 public charter school. Their education program emphasizes bilingualism and multiculturalism, creative expression, reasoning, health and community engagement.
Commas needed after "(NCS)" and after "health."
The school consist of 190 elementary and middle school students. According to NCS, the size of this school helps the urban community meet their needs, in particular students from families whose second language is English and students from low-income households.
The subject "school" is singular. How will you fix the verb so it matches?
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
You wrote "the size of this school helps the urban community meet their needs..." -- "community" is singular; how will you fix the pronoun to match it?
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm
I don't think you've made it clear HOW the size of the school (do you mean the small size?) -- HOW does a small school help students from these families? Wouldn't all children benefit from being in a small school setting? Why is this community different?
In fact, here's a district (inner city, by the way) which believes some of its schools are TOO SMALL to operate efficiently:
http://www.khou.com/news/local/education/stories/khou080218_tj_hisdenrollment.69d2939.html
Make sure you clarify what you mean when you say that the size (small or large?) helps meet community needs (what are they; how are they met?).
As a small charter school, The Nxx Cxx School promotes an individualized approach to education.
Will you be adding details to explain this?
Their academic program is based on the work of several important learning theories.
Will you be adding details to explain this?
It doesn't allow me to paste my example. I don't know why?
I'm having trouble posting my essay. I get a message that says Homework Help: Error(s) You are not allowed to post internet addresses.
I am not posting internet addresses. I don't know why I am not being allowed to post.
There must be something in your wording that seems like a URL or part of a URL to this website's filter. Are you trying to copy and paste? Or are you typing in your text?
??
I am trying to copy and paste it. I tried to past the whole essay, but it wouldn't let me. Then, I tried to paste it by sections, but now it will not allow me to continue pasting it. I'm going to try it again.
In response to your question above, can I say this instead?
According to NCS, the small size of this school helps the downtown urban community meet their needs, in particular students from families whose second language is English and students from low-income households because the students are given more individual attention by faculty members.
MUCH better!! Yes.
=)
The New City School’s mission is to provide a healthy, thoughtful, and intimate environment to students, emphasizing community building over competition; as well as a high quality, free, and public education alternative to the community. The NCS was founded by two schoolteachers, a group of parents, and educators. The New City School opened its doors in August of 2000 to eighty students in grades K-3 with the goal of becoming a model for urban K-8 learning in the 21st century. The student body has grown steadily, one grade each year.
Replace the semicolon after "competition" with a comma.
(You use semicolons primarily between equal things, most often between two independent clauses.)
"August of 2000" sounds strange. "August, 2000, ... " would be better.
The rest is fine.
The staff, Board of Directors, and parents have developed a new curriculum and renovated an abandoned building into a school that now holds 190 students from kindergarten to eighth grade. The building was formally a medical clinic in 1948. The three story building is now a large playground, has 10 distinct classrooms, an organic garden, and grounds that are landscaped with native California plants and trees. According to the school, the NCS campus has brought much needed beauty to the neighborhood. The school’s urban rehabilitation project transformed a wrecked, dangerous, boarded-up building into a bright and inviting learning space for students.
The classrooms at The New City School are limited to 20 students. There are about 10 teachers in the school. The ratio of children to teachers is 20:1 in grades K-8. The school provides teacher assistants in the elementary classes so that the child-to-adult ratio can be maintained at approximately 10:1 or better in the primary grades. Students at The New City School participate in the State testing programs and receive results like other public school children. Students stay with the same teacher for multiple years. For example, grades K-2 are grouped together in a classroom with the same teacher, as well has grades 3-5, and 6-8. Basically, each teacher has a group of student from three different grade levels.
The lectures in the classrooms are bilingual. The teacher will switch languages each day. For instance, each subject will be taught in Spanish one day and English the next day. Gradually the students whose first language is English will learn and understand the new language as well as the students whose first language is Spanish. The students address their teachers by their first name because the school believes children will feel more comfortable to approach their teachers in this manner. Also, the teachers visit each student’s household in order to bond with the child and get to know the child better. The teachers provide and value individual time with each of their students. NCS staff believes that students learn best hands on. The school takes all the students to field trips once a week to help the students learn hands on what is being taught to them in class.
Based on the tour I was given, I noticed that the students in the primary classrooms did not have any desks. They were sitting on a dirty rug on the floor. The students in grades three to five were sitting on small tables together. The students in grades 6-8 where given better quality tables and stools to sit on. Overall this school is very small with small classrooms and a small playground for the students. The students there do not have a lot of playground materials. They have one basketball hoop, a small grass area were the kids can play jump rope, hula hoop, and other small activities. The younger children seem to be crowed during lunch when they are playing. There wasn’t a lot of free space for the children to run and play.
During the tour I noticed the area where the children eat contained three types of trash cans, one for cans, paper, and plastic, the other one for food waste, and they also had a regular trash can. The school wants to teach all the students to be environmentally friendly. They teach the students not to waste paper or to reuse paper for doodling during their free-time in class or in daycare. This could also be a cost saving motive. The school also emphasized healthy eating for the children. The New City School does not permit junk food for lunch. Since the school does not have room for a cafeteria, the meals they provide for the children who pay for lunch come from a nearby restaurant. The restaurant prepares the meals for the children and sends them good quality cooked meals everyday of the week.
From what I learned from The New City School the school lacks rewards and punishments for the students. The students there are not given any grades, homework assignments, stickers, certificates, stars, and do not have clear consequences for bad behavior. The reason why the students are not given grades or rewards is because the school wants to promote a noncompetitive environment for the students. NCS believes that children who are not given rewards or receive lower grades will feel bad about themselves and the school does not want to make students feel inferior to other students’ achievements. The teachers do not believe in giving homework because they believe school work should be done in school, not at home. The teachers do not take away a child’s recess or play time to punish their students like most traditional public schools do. NCS believes that the teachers should discuss the conflict situation with the student privately and help guide the student to make better choices in the future.
The school I am doing my practicum is very different compared to The New City School. It has a large playground and a smaller one for the kindergarten students. The large playground contains a lot of free space for the children to run and play. It also has a slide, hand bars, hand ball walls, and other playground materials. The students in the traditional public school in which I am working do not teach their students to recycle their trash after lunch or in class. The children are given homework, rewards, and punishments. For instance, in the first grade class in which I am working, the students are given small toys for a perfect score on their spelling and math tests. They are given stickers and scholar dollars when they complete their homework assignments. The children can purchase small toys or pencils with their scholar dollars they have collected for each trimester.
The children in the class I am working are told what the consequences are for bad behavior. For example, the teacher will give her students warnings and then she’ll eventually give her students red slips which takes away the child’s play time at recess or other privileges. After sitting in one of the lower class level classes in The New City School, I realized that the children in the school I work are in an advanced level compared to the children in The New City School. It can be because the children in NCS may lack motivation to learn more or to be challenged. Also, the changes in language can effect students understanding of what they are being taught. The first graders where I work are being pushed to try harder in order to receive rewards. Overall, I was surprised to learn how unique The New City School is compared to traditional public schools.
Use "formerly" instead of "formally" in the second sentence.
Put a hyphen between "three" and "story."
The building IS a playground... or the building has a playground?
The classrooms at The New City School are limited to 20 students. There are about 10 teachers in the school. The ratio of children to teachers is 20:1 in grades K-8. The school provides teacher assistants in the elementary classes so that the child-to-adult ratio can be maintained at approximately 10:1 or better in the primary grades. Students at The New City School participate in the State testing programs and receive results like other public school children. Students stay with the same teacher for multiple years. For example, grades K-2 are grouped together in a classroom with the same teacher, as well has grades 3-5, and 6-8. Basically, each teacher has a group of student from three different grade levels.
Since you've spelled out New City School at the very beginning and included (NCS) after it, you should use NCS throughout the rest of the paper. No need to spell out the school's name or go back and forth between abbreviation and spelled-out.
There are many simple sentences, one right after the other, making your writing sound choppy. How can you combine some sentences to make variety in the cadence?
Check for singulars and plurals in the right places.
In one place, you need "as" but you've typed "has" -- do you see it?
Is it where I typed teacher has a group?
The lectures in the classrooms are bilingual. The teacher will switch languages each day. For instance, each subject will be taught in Spanish one day and English the next day. Gradually the students whose first language is English will learn and understand the new language as well as the students whose first language is Spanish. The students address their teachers by their first name because the school believes children will feel more comfortable to approach their teachers in this manner. Also, the teachers visit each student’s household in order to bond with the child and get to know the child better. The teachers provide and value individual time with each of their students. NCS staff believes that students learn best hands on. The school takes all the students to field trips once a week to help the students learn hands on what is being taught to them in class.
Based on the tour I was given, I noticed that the students in the primary classrooms did not have any desks. They were sitting on a dirty rug on the floor. The students in grades three to five were sitting on small tables together. The students in grades 6-8 where given better quality tables and stools to sit on. Overall this school is very small with small classrooms and a small playground for the students. The students there do not have a lot of playground materials. They have one basketball hoop, a small grass area were the kids can play jump rope, hula hoop, and other small activities. The younger children seem to be crowed during lunch when they are playing. There wasn’t a lot of free space for the children to run and play.
During the tour I noticed the area where the children eat contained three types of trash cans, one for cans, paper, and plastic, the other one for food waste, and they also had a regular trash can. The school wants to teach all the students to be environmentally friendly. They teach the students not to waste paper or to reuse paper for doodling during their free-time in class or in daycare. This could also be a cost saving motive. The school also emphasized healthy eating for the children. The New City School does not permit junk food for lunch. Since the school does not have room for a cafeteria, the meals they provide for the children who pay for lunch come from a nearby restaurant. The restaurant prepares the meals for the children and sends them good quality cooked meals everyday of the week.
From what I learned from The New City School the school lacks rewards and punishments for the students. The students there are not given any grades, homework assignments, stickers, certificates, stars, and do not have clear consequences for bad behavior. The reason why the students are not given grades or rewards is because the school wants to promote a noncompetitive environment for the students. NCS believes that children who are not given rewards or receive lower grades will feel bad about themselves and the school does not want to make students feel inferior to other students’ achievements. The teachers do not believe in giving homework because they believe school work should be done in school, not at home. The teachers do not take away a child’s recess or play time to punish their students like most traditional public schools do. NCS believes that the teachers should discuss the conflict situation with the student privately and help guide the student to make better choices in the future.
The school I am doing my practicum is very different compared to The New City School. It has a large playground and a smaller one for the kindergarten students. The large playground contains a lot of free space for the children to run and play. It also has a slide, hand bars, hand ball walls, and other playground materials. The students in the traditional public school in which I am working do not teach their students to recycle their trash after lunch or in class. The children are given homework, rewards, and punishments. For instance, in the first grade class in which I am working, the students are given small toys for a perfect score on their spelling and math tests. They are given stickers and scholar dollars when they complete their homework assignments. The children can purchase small toys or pencils with their scholar dollars they have collected for each trimester.
The children in the class I am working are told what the consequences are for bad behavior. For example, the teacher will give her students warnings and then she’ll eventually give her students red slips which takes away the child’s play time at recess or other privileges. After sitting in one of the lower class level classes in The New City School, I realized that the children in the school I work are in an advanced level compared to the children in The New City School. It can be because the children in NCS may lack motivation to learn more or to be challenged. Also, the changes in language can effect students understanding of what they are being taught. The first graders where I work are being pushed to try harder in order to receive rewards. Overall, I was surprised to learn how unique The New City School is compared to traditional public schools.
This is the last paragraph.
Thank you!
Please rework the other paragraphs, with the suggestions I've already made. Then email to me at my name at hotmail.
okay thank you. I have to go to class right now. I'm late. I will fix the rest of the paragraphs with your suggestions later. Thank you so much!! =)
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