Since "Hi" is English, how about "Hola" or even "Saludos, muchachos." había = accent (had been) ¿el plano? = the plan, but not the plane = el avión.
We did it to London? "lo tomamos" = we took it?
The weather is great? Hace buen tiempo
Susan = Susana and Henry = Enrique
Le compré = I bought for him or for her or for you?
un juego de fútbol
en el primo = in the cousin? perhaps "con la prima Sara" = This actually says as you wrote it "we will go to a game in the cousin at home!
"me pregunta" seems better since they are "mis hermanos"
both you? ambos ustedes.
You can't be staying in "my house of friends" = en la casa de los amigos
Grandmother = watch gender~! la abuela y el abuelo = best yet = los abuelos
My grandfather = mi abuelo
"los coches de los deportes" = do you want sport cars? = los coches de deporte or coches deportivos.
Grandmother = Mi abuela
for presents = better "para los regalos"
Because you are saying be good BOYS (plural) = Sean buenos muchachos and mamá has an accent.
I miss you both? = Me faltan ustedes dos.
I think that is all of them. Got home late from concert.
* Esto fue un viaje largo. *
* Finalmente fuimos a Londres.*
You could work in the Preterit instead of present tense with *Cada uno me preguntó y les demostró, etc.*
You also have the present and future but that's fine.
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