Posted by lawerence on Tuesday, January 8, 2008 at 7:33pm.
That first sentence is more of a lead-in, right? It's the second (run-on) that's supposed to be the thesis?
Suggestions:
African-Americans can improve their lifestyles by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs; instead, they should unite and not allow anyone else to take advantage of or show disrespect to them.
Please read carefully. I've made some major and minor changes. Let us know if you have further questions.
=)
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