I am writing a synthesizing essay on invisible man by Ellison and on go tell it the mountain by James Baldwin. Please tell me what you think of my thesis. I am writing about racism( this how I am trying to connect the two books)

African Americans have always had hardships and struggles in their lives, so in order to reach the top of the ladder they must be kind to one another and break the racial stereotypes that perceive them as invisible. African American can improve their lifestyle by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs, instead unite, and not allow whites to take advantage or disrespect them.
please make any change to improve!!

That first sentence is more of a lead-in, right? It's the second (run-on) that's supposed to be the thesis?

Suggestions:
African-Americans can improve their lifestyles by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs; instead, they should unite and not allow anyone else to take advantage of or show disrespect to them.

Please read carefully. I've made some major and minor changes. Let us know if you have further questions.

=)

Overall, your thesis statement has a strong direction in exploring the theme of racism and its impact on African Americans in both novels. However, there are a few areas for improvement. Let's break down your thesis statement and make some suggested revisions:

Original thesis: African Americans have always had hardships and struggles in their lives, so in order to reach the top of the ladder they must be kind to one another and break the racial stereotypes that perceive them as invisible. African American can improve their lifestyle by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs, instead unite, and not allow whites to take advantage or disrespect them.

Revised thesis: Racism permeates the lives of African Americans, who face enduring hardships and struggle against pervasive racial stereotypes that render them invisible. By fostering kindness and unity amongst themselves, African Americans can challenge these stereotypes, improve their overall quality of life, and resist external exploitation and disrespect.

Updates made:
1. Clarifying the focus: The revised thesis explicitly mentions racism as the central theme connecting the two books, ensuring that your essay maintains a clear direction throughout.
2. Enhancing language: The revised thesis uses stronger language to convey the effects of racism (enduring hardships, struggle, pervasive stereotypes). This will help to engage readers and make your thesis more compelling.
3. Streamlining ideas: The revised thesis condenses the emphasis on not manipulating one another for selfish satisfaction needs, focusing more on fostering kindness and unity amongst African Americans. This change keeps the thesis more concise and focused on racism and its implications.
4. Strengthening impact: The revised thesis emphasizes the importance of resisting external exploitation and disrespect. This adds another layer to your argument and helps articulate the desired outcome for African Americans.

Remember that your thesis statement is a concise summary of the main argument of your essay. It should provide a clear and focused roadmap for your analysis of racism in both novels.