posted by Anonymous on .
How could I reword this thesis to make it more effective?
"In God's eyes, charity is the standard of human actions, and leads to peace and love."
In my opinion, the first three words should be omitted. (We don't know what's in God's eyes.)
Also -- since "is" is weak -- how about changing it to "sets?"
Charity sets the standard for human actions and leads to peace and love. Also note that there should not be a comma after actions.