WWII - editing
posted by Lena on .
Im writing a diary entry for the events leading up to WWII. Could someone please edit it. I'm not sure if my information is 100% correct.
September 12th 1939
Great Britain had declared war on Germany on September 3rd subsequent to Germany’s invasion into Poland. Even though Canada was its own independent country, there was diminutive uncertainty that she would quickly follow. September 10th 1939, CBC had given word that King George the 5th had announced that Canada had also declared war. It was certainly no surprise. Although Germany’s invasion into Poland is what finally triggered this war, the accountability of the events leading up to the war, can be equally divided. Firstly, the strategy of appeasement took place when Great Britain and France granted concessions to Germany resulting in the Munich Pact. This agreement gave Hitler the Sudetenlands and control over Czechoslovakia as long as Hitler would agree to not expand further. Hitler quickly violated the terms of the agreement as the Nazis seized Czechoslovakia and a part of Poland known as Blitzkrieg. It became palpable to everyone that appeasements should never be given to tyrants. Expansionism due to the nationalistic goals of re-unification of former territories lost in WWI was not prevented by the League of Nations. After Hitler became chancellor of Germany, things started to a take a turn for the worst. Fascism began to shape the country into an anti-Semitic nation. This resulted in the mass extermination of Jewish peoples as well as Communists, Slavs, Poles, Gypsies, homosexuals and those people who were mentally challenged. We remember this atrocious time period as the Holocaust. Fascism was also practiced in other countries as well as anti-Semitism. I am sad to say that Canada was one of those many countries. Isolation, Militarism, Nationalism, Racism, and the failure of the League of Nations to enforce the Treaty of Versailles and maintain peace around the world, were several other causes of this war. Today, I enlisted in war with thousands of others. I believe that serving your nation is a great passage to manhood. I leave my family in a couple of weeks. My wife, Linda, is very proud of me, but it is hard to say goodbye to my son, Shamus. He has just learned to walk and talk, it’s sad that I will have to miss all of this. But this is just a small sacrifice everyone must make in order to bring peace to the world. I would rather die an honorable death than live a dishonorable life.
I'm in the process of editing this and should be finished within a half hour.
Thanks so much
You've written a good diary entry. However, I have a few suggestions below. Sorry it took me longer than expected to read this, but a phone call interrupted me.
Hitler quickly violated the terms of the agreement as the Nazis seized Czechoslovakia and a part of Poland in a military operation known as Blitzkrieg.
This resulted in the mass extermination of Jewish peoples as well as Communists, Slavs, Poles, Gypsies, homosexuals and those people who were mentally challenged. We remember this atrocious time period as the Holocaust.
We knew very little about what the Nazis were doing to the Jews, Communists, etc. in 1939. We knew they were persecuted by gangs and sometimes by the government. The mass extermination, though, hadn't started yet, and the term Holocaust wasn't used until after the war. I suggest you delete these sentences.
You're very welcome.
can i still keep the facism and anit-Semetic nation part in there?
Yes. Germany and other countries were clearly anti-semitic and fascist at that time.
Thanks again, you helped so much. =]
You're welcome. I should point out that the U.S. and Canada entered the war because we were afraid if Germany won the war in Europe, that he'd attack us. In addition to our friendships with Britain and other European countries, we also depended heavily on them for trade and alliances.