Homework Help: personal essay

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, October 1, 2007 at 4:57pm.

i finished writing my intro and i'm working on writing my second paragraph in which i have to narrate my story as if i was telling it to another person.

Here I go:

For eight years, i was born and raised in India. My family and i lived in an four story apartments which included seven other families and their kids in the apartment. All of our families were very close and we called eachother family because we have this huge history together. The parents knew eachother before the kids were born. While the dads went to work in the same company, the moms would get together and go shopping or gossip.

After a couple of years, all the kids were born and the kids became close like the parents. My friends and i would ride bicycles and we all went to the same school together. We attended a school that includes grades from preschool to grade twelve. we knew eachother since we were practically babies so i have this connection with them that i don't have with my other friends in USA. we attended eachother's first birthday parties. Our parents shared our first step and first word with eachother.

Now i kinda need help revising my paragraph espicially about the part of the parents. i think it would be cool to say that the parents were friends before all the kids were born and there were all together. I don't know if i'm going use everything in the paragraph but i'm just freewriting right now.

personal essay - Anonymous, Monday, October 1, 2007 at 5:00pm
The basic idea of this paragraph is me telling what kind of life i had in india before coming to america. I was with my friends and we would hang out with eachother and play and we were like family so to get away from them broke my heart.
So i just want to explain why these friends are so important to me because i knew them ever since they were born and they knew me ever since i was born.

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