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Writing process

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Can you write an eight-sentence paragraph using the topic, "Some people insist that a word processor is superior to paper and pencil."

  • Writing process -

    One way to do this is to base it on a "Jane Schaffer" paragraph:
    http://huertas.vms.lusd.org/Janeschafferhowsto.html

    All you'd need to do is to add an additional set of three sentences: CD, CM, CM. Then you'd have eight.

    If you write it up and repost with it, someone here will be happy to give you feedback.

    =)

  • Writing process -

    Here's an example. The following contains a topic sentence, three detail sentences (CDs), and a conclusion sentence. There are no commentary (CM) sentences in here:

    Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. No signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn't see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn't read the exit signs until I started passing them. To make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us were allowed to pass him. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.

    In the following, however, commentary sentences have been added (in bold), and now it's an 11-sentence paragraph AND it's much more interesting to read!

    Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. No signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn't see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. I panicked at the thought of being stranded alone in a strange place. I kept hoping to see a station materialize in the fog and couldn't make up my mind what to do. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn't read the exit signs until I started passing them. I realized I had driven on for hours, dreading the never-ending blurring lines on the horizon. I had been expecting the weather to lift suddenly and let me get back on schedule. To make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us were allowed to pass him. It was as though an invisible force field had been thrown up behind the patrol car. No one felt brave enough to dare to go around him, and so we sulked behind him for what seemed like hours. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind.
    [from "Teaching the Multiparagraph Essay" (Second Edition), by Jane C. Schaffer]

    The point of learning what is obviously a formulaic way of writing is so that you can learn to vary it to suit your own writing style, as well as to follow your teacher's directions!

    Let me know if you have questions.

    =)

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