Posted by British boy on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 8:50am.
Years before 1914, tension built up among European countries. I agree that the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand led directly into the war but tension <~~among whom exactly? was the main reason for World War One.
One example of "a few more details" that I meant to include is this:
Sir
Britain ,<~~delete comma had the largest navy at that time ,<~~delete extra space and comma; put a semicolon immediately after "time" meanwhile Germany had begun building up her own empire which made Britain feel suspicious and worried. The two countries competed about who had the best navy. This is also called "militarism". Also, tension had built up between Germany and France. Many years ago ,<~~delete extra space between "ago" and the comma in 1871, France was defeated by Germany who won a legendary victory.<~~Does this victory have a name or other way to identify it? France was keen for revenge on Germany .<~~delete extra space before the period Another reason for World War One was that Europe was divided into two Alliances,add a space after this commaThe Triple Entente and The Triple Alliance.
As empires grew more and more and tension <b?built up with alliances threatening each other, it was assumed that everyone was ready for a war. I agree that the war was inevitable because there was no doubt<~~no doubt about what? and it felt like<~~delete "like" as if there was only one thing to lead those powerful countries to war. This was the assasination<~~sp? of the Archduke of Austria who was shot by a Serbian terrorist. Austria wanted a sign to declare war on Serbia and she did<~~she did what?. All of this was like a linked chain that finally had a reason to happen. It<~~what is "it"? finally had become by the powerful countries of Europe declaring war on each other in 1914.
Your ideas are accurate, but there need to be a few more details. I corrected grammar and usage in places; I don't know if you needed that or not. Be careful of the vague use of "it." Make sure it's crystal clear what every "it" is!
=)
Who made up the Triple Entente and the Triple Alliance?
You should go through your write-up and make sure there are no other places where this type of detail is left out.
=)
thankyou very much for the help sir
My teacher actally told us around 1 to 2 minutes as a short presentation
And he said it had to be 50 - 100 words
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